BONUS: Dateable Unplugged LIVE From SF

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The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world and we had our first dateable live show late last year and it was a huge success with a packed house. If you weren't able to make it or WANNA refresher. Here's here's a snippet from that show. First up we flip the script and had Logan yeary interview off if you recall Logan from season nine episode fourteen the science of dating and at the end we had seen. Qna Section where a particular pass guests plus called out. Doc and now it is my pleasure to welcome you and Julie to the stage. Let me tell you a little bit about them about the podcast us. Oh they are the creators co host of the dateable. PODCAST as you know. And it's an insider look into modern dating the huff. Po called at one of their top. Ten podcast about love and sex and they've also been listed as a top dating podcast on Britten Co Thought Catalog bt and most recently asked men. So I know a lot of you are familiar with the podcast but if not every week you a enjoy talk with real daters about everything being from sex parties to sex strout date fails to diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves so. I'm thrilled to flip the script and bring you a Julia up here to talk to them for their first ever live show so welcome Julian. Ua Okay so how did you end up creating the podcast cast. So you avon mets mutual friends. Actually one of its here court the K.. Over there and we actually met their company. I started five. Hundred Brunch is is it. I remember I have been here for like eight years and you age just moved here after being data coach and New York Beijing. La and she's like what the fuck is up with the seat in San Francisco. I don't know it's normal dating. Here's this I'm twenty five so one night we were out and like all good things started a bar. We decided to make a podcast. Okay so raise your hand if you're in the audience and you thought about starting podcast. Wow Okay I see quite a few hands here. So why. Don't you to walk us through a quick version of your advice for somebody who wants to start a podcast. I think just do it. You'RE GONNA learn if you put it out there so just put it out there. It's the world. It's kind of weird because like it's awesome. See you guys all here now. But when you're podcasting Hugo idea who's listening but you'll start to get feedback and people writing you so yeah just just do it indefinitely get somebody who knows sound area beginning import okay. So one hundred sixty episodes later I want to hear from the WHO experts. What is the state of modern dating? And what are you insights that you could share with us about things you've learned about dating from doing the podcast great question. So I'M GONNA roll this up into two insights and one of them is a state of dating. I really think when we first started the PODCAST. Four and a half years ago so it was a lot of dating fatigue because it was hot to be on dating APPs everyone in their mom literally everyone and their mom was on dating APPs and people sal very fatigued they felt like they were going on. Several dates a day and states weren't amounting to anything but now four and a half years later. I think we're we are are ad now is that we're more mindful about dating. We hear this all the time. I WANNA meet people in real life. How do I do that? How off the dating APPS? How do I do more self discovery and self awareness so the state of dating right now is calm the fuck down dating apps and said how do I actually do this dating thing right and the second insight I have is that men and women experience the exact same things? So if you are a sitting here in Your Life Mos- man Dan those Douche bags like those blitz complain about the exact same things about each other. Everybody goes everybody's a big everyone's been immune to someone so when you think it's like the other sex or the people that you're trying to date that are at fault you have to look to yourself. I of course I think the state of data is that anything goes these days like I think back in the day and like everyone's goal was to get married have kids and I think right now now like that really just varies so dramatically like we see people that have been married for years and are opening their relationships we see triad relationships uh-huh so plus to a wedding.

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That's always fun. I mean we see people that are single loving it like larry's episodes single and loving. Yeah Yeah I think it's just like right now. There's no one right way to date and I think that's actually really wonderful because us we've seen like from the divorce rates generation above us like this is kind of our chance like define what a relationship should mean on our terms so it's actually a beautiful all thing by opinions but the second thing I would say is I think everyone's looking for connection and there's a ton of options right now and it's really just cutting through the BS on the dates like back in the day there was like this ruling. No politics talking about your taxes and like now it's like anything anything goes and oftentimes you don't get that next state so it's better to be real until like have the date talk within reason of course like to give your whole story store and maybe on Day one but I just opening up and getting real early on is really where people are going. Okay see you mentioned that one of the ways that I connected was that you a arrived is they're gone said wow on the dating scene here is so weird and that's something that I hear all the time and I feel like people in different cities always think that their I city is the hardest place to date so from your experience. You've talked to a lot of people who are in the asset dating scene. How does stating here compared to dating elsewhere? Good question I think when we first started we were like San Francisco so unique we do a whole show by San Francisco and then quickly realized that like the same shifts happening everywhere. I think San Francisco like a lot of stuff happens. I hear like dating APPs. Where like more novel here everywhere? The capital so obviously also just people are like more more open minded. We're like kind of like poly-amorous had open relationships or like a first here but I think every city has its nuances but the same aimed general things that are happening like ghosting and bread crumbs and all the stuff that's like a little challenging with. Da is happening everywhere like for example in La we had a guest. One say I would never even thought about this. We did have this gas that was like. La's actually really hard today because it's just too nice there and like the traffic so brutal that you're like oh shine. Meet this person from tinder that I don't know anything about or dislike have cocktail on a rooftop bar heed ourselves. Daily just doesn't happen as much so I think every city just has nuances anything that you think is unique to s updating unique to asset dating they would be I feel like the question is always on the table which is is monogamy dead and I feel like a here in the city more than any other city maybe New York because I think everyone's kind of questioning like is just two people in a relationship forever or could I share beloved yeah I mean an SF. Everyone's like optimizing optimizing everything so in flake. Also like Oh can we like defined the purpose perfect relationship and sometimes it's causing us to challenge things a bit a bit more but also we have tech burrows here so that's different for me. It's interesting the battery. Oh Yeah Yeah it's an interesting point about monogamy. I remember. I was at a wedding once in this guy came up to me and he was like defend. Njit hauge me only in San Francisco. Take no no maybe it was the radical poly-amorous and just sort of said well maybe monogamy is actually the biggest of them all just one person for for a long time. It's Kinky Kinky that it shows that person okay. So how has doing the podcast change the way that you jade eight and I would love to hear about this from. Maybe where you were when you started it. And what some of your motivations were and then how your dating life has evolved in where you are now. I think when when we first started the podcast I felt like dating was I needed. I needed to get that second day. I needed to get this person to like me back. I need to get as many matches as possible and then I realized after doing four and half years at this podcast is the measure of success of your dating life and your relationships. It's not the longevity or the outcome you've seen people in tenure relationships who are miserable we've seen a we've seen numerous there's divorces when at the time when they're married that probably was a measure of success.

00:10:05 - 00:15:08

I think the measurement of success of any date or any relationship is ooh Did I learn something after the state today. Learn a little bit about about myself in. Did I learn something new and you walk away and maybe there was no kiss kids or a second date. That's okay because you actually gain something from it. You all heard the story you go on like an eight hour first day and said than Slyke amazing make out in front of my own. And you're lying on my God why this person call me back vibes and equate to a second date because a longevity of that date doesn't equate to successful date that you both have nothing else better to looking out of each other so we need to start like rethinking how we how we perceive as successful dating yeah. I think like tinder. It was kind of like at its peak. I definitely rode that wave and was definitely guilty of cereal dating like being on a date being in the bathroom swiping on someone else also also found guilty of that but also I think I took it really personally like when things work out and I thought there was something wrong with me like when things didn't go pass like three or so and actor when we first started the podcast. I was in a relationship but I think I learned really quick. That like it's all about me it's actually not about let me at all and there's everyone kind of has their own stuff going on and you don't know that when you're meeting someone for cocktails for an hour like you really don't know much much about their lives. So I think this podcast is really taught me now that I'm single and actively dating again is like you just put yourself in their shoes like yeah. It sucks sucks to be ghosted. It sucks to be flaked on but like you don't know what this other person showing early. We hear these perspective all the time and it's always shocking the the exit interview. Listen to that. But if you haven't you should. We had a gas that like thought that all the women were not interested in hand but they all were like open open to a second date is just like you also just don't know what's happening so yeah I think this is definitely top to be more open if nothing else and our experts experts so over the one hundred sixty episodes is there one story or one episode. That really stands out to you time for a quick snack break. That's right. I feel like we should think about what we want to eat later. Because sometimes it's so hard isn't it. I want something healthy but I also want something easy to make. So now's the time for you. Discover Sun Basket. A service. That delivers organic premeasured ingredients and quick healthy recipes. Right to your door to selling points for me about some basket. One founded in San Francisco and to Justin Kelly the award winning chef from the famous restaurants slanted door created the recipes son. Baskets Dietitian approved meal plan cater to many diet needs. You can mix and match recipes across a full menu regardless of your meal plan. I recently made the Ginger Turkey working meatballs and lemon grass broth with cauliflower rice. Let you digest that for a SEC. It was so delicious. Some basket is now offering thirty thirty five dollars off your order. You go right to sun basket dot com slash dateable and enter the code dateable checkout again. That's thirty five dollars off your order. Go to sun basket dot com slash dateable and enter the code Dat AB L. E.. I'm sorry if I made you really hungry but now back to the show so over the one hundred hundred sixty episodes. Is there one story or one episode that really stands out to you so tough to go with the man funnel. Do you want to remember the season. Seven episode twenty. I think what I love about this. who here's anyone here at sales and marketing I doubt there's this tech but the sales and conversion funnels and it's like you gotta get enough prospects in or they start to leak that foul and this woman Meghan wax-like lacks like she broke it down? She's like dating the exact same thing. He's GonNa fill that man fun allowed. It was just like hilarious but also I think what really made got to be like the number of people. We ran into or like road in or like sent US instagram post. Whatever the man fought all they just kept like vic theatre got it so try it really stands out for me and I always talk about? This one is called so I went to a sex party episode fourteen. Julie and I were invited to go to a live sex party yet for minors. Surge ritual in Oakland and we didn't know what to expect our first time going to a sex together and he decided to us. And we take the entire thing audio recorded the entire thing clarification learn out to me about that was one.

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We were both in a very uncomfortable situation as much as I love porn. I didn't WANNA be back close to people having having sex sex. Aw but also what was so fascinating because this is what makes San Francisco so amazing sometimes is we had this woman women who are like sex Sherpa up and she's like welcome to the six party. All your sex Sherpa and nuhere show. You're on I'm also head of HR salesforce rely. Apparently because that's really good for networking okay. That was great so we heard your favorite episode. What about favorite story? Like if you were talking to somebody on a plane and you're describing them what you do. What's a story that you might bring up? That happens on the podcast. You're exposed to through the PODCAST. A story stories who somebody. I don't even know where to star. I think this is more maybe like an evolution but like we had one guest Margot who is season seven episode nine nine rewriting the role weird memory and she basically came to us is totally distressed about route dating frustrated by men the whole nine yards and we did this episode. We actually like sometimes we to air certain episodes not for any reason reason just because we get backed up and won like we knew her through mutual friends and one friend was like. Hey we talked with Margo recently or like no. She's like some. Some things have changed for her a little so we caught up with her and she basically told us the podcast had inspired her to really just become much more open. She went on a date with with a couple so that was fun and then she changed her bumble settings to women so she basically fell in love with a woman and we had them back on. The podcast passed and they basically shared their story of how like all these years. They've been kind of told to do one thing and they started to really evaluate what they they wanted. And that's what made them do that change and I think that's like it stuck with me because it's like how much of what we think is like comes from our family or like society versus how much of it's like what we really want. Needless to say she's kind of gone back to men but sometimes sounds like you have to go full circle to realize what is it that you actually want out of someone and I think just like seeing her. Nash is much more confident. I think so don't have to be like judge success of relationships on like marriage and children all that while that's great that's always the whole picture. I think like seeing these success stories of people like finding themselves more like getting more comfortable in their skin. Personally make me happy and by the way with ARGO when lesbian the end Julian. I like should we try and we also had a diaper fetish shoe. We try every time someone up something new for us to like show except for the finger up. The wasn't that was a relief for me but the story that really stands out for me is a had season. Three episode helped me out Josh Episode Chino Seven Shirt and go that Josh Josh. Who Start up there you go? Josh is the CEO this Startup called Monday motorbikes and he talked about how he's married Harry to his work Mary to start up and how employees are his wife planned how he just could not find capacity into date emotionally socially and physically. He's slept office everything everything so basically his whole episode for like an hour was like I don't WanNa date and then we got like fifty emails. Relax known known Josh. All these. WE'RE GONNA change your mind but the man who says so we all these all Lisi emails. A real like Josh these women. He's like no no. I really don't have the capacity to date and fast for two years later. He's now married so we had him back on and season that episode to where we ask them like what's up with change and he's all the syrup thing Camacho would really change was met my fiance before meeting her. I felt like a relationship partner. Would drag me down. It was slow me down. It would would take me away from reaching all my dreams and my potential of being a Unicorn start a founder and what he really found with us now life is ah.

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She actually empowered him to be in a better position to succeed and to really Liz Dreams and pursue history. So she's the one that that didn't even try to convince him she's like you'll be relationship doll but I'm not here to try and drag you down here to try to lift you up. So that's a beautiful story. Stories says speaking of lifting people out as a final question for everyone. WHO's here tonight? People listening on the podcast later. What is one the thing that people could do today or tonight or this week in their love lives actually just improved the way that they did or the way that they show up in relationships? Yeah concussion we didn't plan that one fall I think versus just I think this is just really important to know. Is that you you have to go through the trenches in order to find what you want. We've seen it with Julie Julie's episode. Where in relationship? She was a France with some eight years before they became a couple. Because you have to like kind of do your Shit I before you find that gold. Oh man that really works here. Doesn't it but sometimes you're in the trenches of dating it. It seems like it's just heartbreaking. It's so hard to keep going because you're like I'm fatigued I'm exhausted. Why do this this idea of scarcity the city? The there's just no one out there for me but it of all the stories we've heard if you go through the trenches because there is no shortcut you can't hack your way through love if you go through the trenches you will find yourself with a successful something like a happy. Something in that end goal can be different here from for everyone but you have to like go through the jungle to get there. I think it's also like super easy. Like blamed your city or like make excuses excuses of why is holding you back but like I know for me like therapy just like looking inward and like all of that is like really what made all the difference. So I'll tell tell you we're going to therapy but like do. Sometimes we also think that like it has to be like let me get all all my shit in order and then I can focus on dating and the reality is like it's always gonna be something so like while you shouldn't be stopping to be the best version of yourself. South like look at like what excuses. You're making yourself. I don't want to say anyone put anyone down. But it's like the common denominator is you. There's always ways we can improve it. You don't have to be perfect to be a relationship spoiler. Most people that are married in relationships are not perfect so improvement but also an excuse to and use inspired to me say say one more thing. which is we're also afraid of getting into relationships? It's always been like I wanna be the one to have the conversation nation last. I want to be the one to show the least interest because he or she is going to like me more. Unfortunately that's not. How successful relationships work the only way you he can improve yourself in relationship is to get into relationships like you have that? Just keep getting into them. Even if they don't work out Larry so afraid of being like yes. I want to be your girlfriend. Yes I WANNA be your boyfriend. Let's just try this. As by the Sunday that's cool I've unsold bomb in France so is better for us just is like get over the fear over the pride of being like I want. I want other people to put me on a pedestal. It's does not work that way. Do One more they go play with each taking the ego out of it like sometimes people are always like. I don't WanNa be vulnerable vulnerable. I don't want to show my cards but the reality of making a relationship with someone like that is all of that so like put it out there. I come store. She watched fronts. That will I love ending this little chat on a note of on the ability. That's a great piece of advice for every line and perhaps on behalf everyone here. I just WanNa thank you for the work that you're doing on the stories that you're bringing to people I think it's just so humanizing and it just normalizes. A lot of the experiences is that people are going to go through dating. So thank you guys so much out concession with some human aid anybody have any questions for us. WHO had a question over here? Oh come on up love. Your areas content Cheetahs goop. So your your question.

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Hopefully it already it right. With how do you come up with the content ideas and like seekers and the guests that you have so we do in a couple different ways like some some people right in submissions. So please do some. You haven't already like we do comb through all the stories that come in so that's a really great way but also there's a lot the topics that we have in mind already some house. We'll put out kind of casting calls on facebook. I think that's actually how we got Larry for single and loving it. It was a facebook Tocqueville or secrets but yet so we do it that way but then also a lot of times like we'll help you out to like. We had candidates. Sasha the author of sex in the city her people reached out to is that we were like stoke so yeah I think it's just the combination of many ways. We're always trying to stay on the pulse of what's interesting. We also get like listeners. Writing in about what they wanNA hear about please. He's do so if there's topics we haven't covered like that's always a really great way so we can make sure that were meeting content that is relatable Bruin and yours. It has sort of worked dating APPS. Jeff Jeff was our guest to source from a dating APP. Everybody else said no in any other question we got booted off on it. ooh ooh look at what we had one. Guess that I will forever remember. That was infamous five minute date like. She showed up up to the guy if she wanted to. She loved Martin for his coffee. and that's a little brutal in my purse. I mean sometimes people people need to warm up like we've heard like one drink too. It's like you have to also think about like this person did make an effort to come and meet you so I pretty bombed if someone I went through down like a five after being there for five minutes so I think that's important to think about what they're doing to that'd be set up like they're disrespectful or or like bothersome to you then. I think you can leave the date but I don't say they're just like a normal person and you have it established it's tons of chemistry like I would give it at least it's two drinks if you're not drinking a couple hours just to like less sometime go by and see if you can bond over something and who knows like even if it's not like a romantic semantic connection like it could be a friend it could be like a business connection like I'd go into every day just trying to meet someone new and that's kind of how I look at it. Unless they attention to Logan's presentation on Heinola about to me it's it's always always to end a high note where you want to see that person more and again you don't want to end up when it's like. Oh One. Is this and right so high hyphen. Newt yeah any other. Your kids are covered out. Love it. uh-huh how how off dating not. I wish we had Andrew here Andrew here. We had an episode call dating being fatigue on the show is now happily engaged and he was supposed to come today and we really want him to answer that question. But I think for for me. I would prefer eating fatigue. Julius well on the one way I I found the best way for me to fend off. Fatigue is to one take a pause. But don't don't say I'm on hiatus a hate that that were like I'm on a dating. I need no. You're you're still checking people out when you're just taking a little pause but finding other ways of connecting with people whether that's in person person or or finding some non-romantic connections because when you start to connect with other humans then you'll be ready to get back into the dating eating pool. I mean I definitely think like kind of take a look at where your own mental had spaces at the time if you aren't showing up well on dates because you're just burnt out get off. The APPS isn't really worth the time at that point. Like if you're not showing up in a positive place all I've definitely been there before and I really just like report by like heart and soul into starting a business and like working at myself and like workout and like anything. That would get me feel better about myself because I think at the end tale of the dating fatigue comes down to how you process things like especially in dating. It's rough out there. I'm sure everyone agrees that it's like people Kennedy brought especially if they don't know oh you want there's just no you though it's up to you to kind of recognize that and just feel like okay like this has nothing to do with me. They don't even know me. I'm a great person. I like all of that.

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And if you're not in that mental space like do whatever you can to get there. Hey the hands are flying now into you guys up Okay we sleep on your uh-huh or the session ask you what he said You Just to repeat it. This was about season eight episode three women. I might be wrong about that. But it's early on and and and the question was like the guest had a lot of just conserve controversial. Official is why we edit the podcast controversial views and the question was like how do we react to it and like kind of stay calm through it because this was. It's definitely a triggering episode that we did get some people reaching out who's listened to that episode. Raise your hand okay a lot all right you guys but I I to start off like I think dateable like the whole point of it is to have people have diverse opinions so while all we don't always agree with every opinion that's been voiced on the show like our goal is to like open the stage two different types of pans. My personal opinion was guest was trying to like actually like do something well for people looking good intentions like delivering a message per se. Whether came came off and tactics that I don't necessarily agree with but like I think it's just like respecting people's opinions whether you agree with them or not at least from a guest perspective. Yeah I'm Gonna I'm just going to reveal this fact right now Leon is here in the audience with US doc. Because he was on the shell anonymously. We are protecting his life. I the reason why. Ah We still communicate with Leon. I think is what to Julie says. We want to create a platform where people can express their opinions and can't express rest their advice to other people. Whether you want to take that or believe that that's up to you but I don't think we need to Shang because their views are rather controversial. We were a little bit uncomfortable with some of the things that are being set but with that said there are out there like that. They're also women out. There are who are equally as manipulative and conniving and that's just the world today and that's everywhere so in dating we all know they're the bad guys and the bad guys exist assist. Do I think all men think this play absolutely not. I don't think my boyfriend who was a lovely man had thought these thoughts recent years I believe the and one point or another. He's right. Yeah what was that. Oh now are intrigued. Eight episodes three three. Yeah the leave season the season eight episode three. PSA to women. It's great around the Thanksgiving table cable but just one one more point on that and then we can go to another question like the only person we can control in dating is ourselves like. We can't control people out there the manipulative tactics. They're doing but I think what was nice about that episode was like Hey Gabe light on like some things that can be there and still believer like giving someone the benefit the Dow in thinking the best in people like when it becomes like five times like things that feel like a lie is up to you to kind of be like. Is this the way want to treat it to be treated. I think Kevin brought it up with the ghosts deger few of them. It's like Weipa people in your life that treat you that way and like someone showing you who they are like you. We need to believe them. How do we feel on the first day? How do I personally feel about having sex on the first day? Let's pause now and know that in this moment you have the power to better your life. You have the control to make twenty twenty your best year yet with the help of a credible professional to support you in the way now with better help you can experience online counseling and connect connect with professional credible and compassionate counselors in a safe and private online environment.

00:35:06 - 00:40:02

Everything stays confidential and you can always change your counselor with over three rebound and US licensed therapists and your choice of communication modes including text chat. Phone video better help makes it easier than ever for you to find help for dateable listeners. Only we get ten percent off your first month with Discount Code dateable you can get started today. Just go to better help dot com slash dateable. Fill out a simple questionnaire to help you. Assess this your needs and get matched with a counselor. You'll love again. That's better help dot com slash dateable and use the Code Dat AB L. E. for ten percent off your first month. Now back to this episode. How do we feel tacked on the first day? How do I personally feel about having sex on the first day? If you wanted to do it I mean there was a time right sex for like a year and I was like. Yeah if there's an opportunity for me on the first day I'm going to do it. The hard rule on if he should have sex on the first day I can. That's up to your own discretion to you feel comfortable. Do you feel of chemistry with this person to just have a physical connection with them and can you can you. Can you wake up the next day or a three three and he okay with leaving that apartment not ever seen them again right so those are things you have to ask yourself but my personal opinion is if you want it go get it. Yeah I mean I think I don similar boat but I think ultimately it comes down to like you what you're looking for like some people are just looking for sex and like but if you are looking for a committed relationship like personally like sex gets better as you like really get to know someone so like if you had like a connection I was just like off the charts on day one like I don't believe in like date one three like what's the difference. It's kind of like really up up to that experience and like what happened there but I think like started touch on a little like yourself like if you are to get super attached like sex will cloud you're looking at someone like again like I don't WanNa give advice to because like I personally have definitely i. I can't say that like there's there's no reason to but like it does cloud your judgment and if you WanNa look objectively and like see like how someone's treating you and sometimes it is better to put it on pause causal but every situation is different last question yes so you'll be okay. Awesome cures heard of any good stories about being lazy and interfered with your mental or any days k the question. Why have you heard that he could hooping? Stories relative dating and have the interfered with your lives. I'm glad to say pooping interfered with my dating life. So that's positive but I heard stories like I got a friend. One that was on a running data golden gate a Golden Gate Park and you know some bowel movement started to happen and she had to like literally duck out in like poop in the woods so they never saw each other again. I don't think it's because of the pooping or maybe it was. I don't know I guess I will seal this person's story because they are here in the room and they've told me this story where he went on a date with a girl who had a bad stomach and on their uber ride home he started smelling trying things in the Uber and thought it was the drew. Hey Rolling down the window. And when they stopped at her destination he helped her out of the car and saw that there was a spot on the seat and her parents had saved on it and she didn't say anything about it the entire tied and he escorted her up the stairs and said good night. She never acknowledged it and I guess few days later. Sorry I'm butchering the story. She texted and said thank you for thinking and it. Just thank you I guess and he he wrote back like no problem shit because she did not back. Yeah I mean we actually had this whole discussion discussion about this and take up on the recent episode. We did Zimper de that. Yeah Watch listen to it. It's too good to live.

00:40:03 - 00:45:01

But anyways part of The discussion ended up. Being like was what happens. When stuff happens out out of your control like sometimes you just can't hope like if you had a pooper throw up like things happen so if you aren't a date with someone in that happens it's like an everything else is going to like? I would encourage you to like try to give them the benefit of the doubt or if it happens to you just like being like ham super embarrassed embarrassed and just owning it because like it would be a shame to like let something like that killer relationship if it was something that was an unforeseen circumstance chew question so we don't end cycle. Who is the last inspirational question version? According to US I know you do you love you. Poll question is after all these seasons seasons whether that inspires you keep going. What is it about this that motivates you day in and day out of like why do you have the passion for it and what's to come with the cast in the beginning? Yes you have. Confessions of a matchmaker. So the question just to repeat Pete it one more time. Hopefully I get all of this is kind of what keeps US inspired going by doing data like and then what is in the future for dateable it just well first of all. It's you guys. Thank you for coming up skimming really embarrassing if nobody we had a lot of ours. VP's Lena offline you people are so. I'm supporting us. Because it's it's big that's why we do it otherwise to each other. Why do we the hearing stories and also we get these emails from people? We've never met some than live in Australia. Some live villa beans and they'll save this episode really resonated and with me. I mean at a guy friend who was like the single mother episode. Really resonated with me weird win win a story or perspective can really touch you or change the way you think about dating and just life in general and what keeps me going is that I learned something new every single time record we every time a guest leaves. I'm just like floored even if even as an episode about pooping I will have learned. There's something new and inspirational. So it's been life changing for myself and I love this opportunity to keep evolving my own thoughts. Yeah definitely would like we had this girl come up to us at a crab feed last year and she was like I recognize the podcast. Can I introduce you to my boyfriend like every weekend for a while I would just like go to the park and like put on headphones. Listen to dateable because I was just like so frustrated by data like all this stuff and I just like hearing that was like I mean obviously shoes like a with a really great guy and like they seem super happy but just like the general vibe that this this woman had was just like so much more positive uplifting and just like seeing that and hearing with the stories come in and see like the people we mentioned like the guest. We've had that lives. Live supply taken like one eighties and also dislike the two of us to like. I think we both had very different views going into this. That we're not nearly as open minded as we are now. Oh so I think that's what keeps me going just the continued learning and evolution and just like really understanding. What's happening with modern dating especially as we go into twenty only twenty? He'll futuristic but what's next for. I think like for us like obviously keep making great great content like we want to just keep making episodes that resonate like I think we've seen a few reviews on apple which makes dateable relatable so the stuff that we can do that leg makes you guys like feel like you're not alone in your dating lives like that's kind of where are a mess but like I mean just big big picture. We'd love to take this to TV. We'd love this to take us to other media so like that's kind of like our pie in the sky dream so we'll see how that plays out if you follow us on instagram. We recently went to New York and we were invited by the wing in New York to do a talk about dating and when we were there we took a few meetings. I won't mention who but those were great meetings for us explore kind of life where we can take a podcast. I think everyone's always like what do you do the podcast after you put it out there now almost is five years. I think now we're really thinking like teenage stages of our podcast. What does that mean? How how can we grow but what what is a bigger platform? We can build for a much bigger influence and having giving people a bigger platform to voice. Irvine's cool all right. We're going to one one thing before one. Ask Ask I guess for you guys.

00:45:01 - 00:49:01

If you could tell a friend about data all that can help us get there so So we're going to do a couple. Thank you thank you guys so much for coming out we really really appreciate it. This means so much to us. Think Logan for opening up their slow and Kerry incisive the checkout her episode. Make sure you also follow us on social media because video is dropping this week like mention should really have two more episodes until the season finale which means three more episodes for the rest of the year. They're all going to be fantastic episodes but that also means we're looking looking for new guests so yeah new inspiration for twenty twenty. It's going to be a big year for all of us. I can feel it so if you have any ideas or want to be a guest on our show please let us snow. I really wanted to toto for having us and for allowing us the space again. It's like a physical all platform for us to share our learnings and what we've will be created with dateable podcast. So thank you so much. Kona Am Marinko and Rio. If he's back there wherever he may be thank you Ria and who took a photo in the poop pool in the back and tagged it again see full you guys get a free Emoji pillows so if you haven't done that yet you should probably go and take some more because we will have with more time after this. So yeah put those photos on instagram. You just have to tag toto wash lit. We'll put him back up on the screen and then you can win your own Emoji. GS and some of whom he movies are girls and some of them are gender neutral. Just so you know and last but not least we want to thank the crew. First and foremost Larry who will be a guest on her show to be a friend to producer and he's going to be a permanent fixture. Animal live events going forward when Tracy right there. who able to comment? How very very last minute and thank you so much for all of your audio and video expertise? We think we're in day. I'm like the Stop Toyota. Thank you so much snapping all these photos. We're going to upload a bunch of them onto our social media so you guys can stock our social media. It's always a good way to do that. Anybody else I'm missing. Who had earlier today Soga? That's pretty good. So yeah thank you to our fair sponsor POW MIA which humped us up for this events. That was really nice of them. Yeah and I've taken giant dump this time to do it very comfortable. The case for you if you want to announce that you're about are you Rashad is out there you go. I feel come to the show last but not least we always in all episodes with dateable. Right okay so on the counter. Three one uh-huh and want to continue the conversation I to follow us on Instagram facebook and twitter with the handle at dateable podcast tag in any post with a Hashtag. Stay dateable and trust us. We look at all those posts then Dan head over to our website dateable PODCAST DOT com. There you'll find all the episodes as articles videos and our coaching service with vetted industry experts. You can also to find our premium y series where we dissect analyzed and offer solutions to some of the most common dating conundrums Roseau downloadable for free on spotify apple podcast. Google play overcast stitcher radio and other podcasts platforms. Your feedback is valuable to us. So don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to to stay dateable.