Sex & Sexuality

BONUS: Is it a Dick Pic if it's not your Dick? w/ Kane Holloway & Greg Behrendt of 'Don't Take Bullshit from Fuckers'

Dateable Podcast
July 20, 2021
67
 MIN
Listen this episode on your favorite platform!
Sex & Sexuality
July 20, 2021
67
 MIN

BONUS: Is it a Dick Pic if it's not your Dick? w/ Kane Holloway & Greg Behrendt of 'Don't Take Bullshit from Fuckers'

We're talking about everything from dick pics to if size matters and re-playing Julie's interview with comedians Kane Holloway & Greg Behrendt from DTBFF

Is it a Dick Pic if it's not your Dick?

Hang tight...this is a BIG one. We're talking about everything from dick pics to if size matters and re-playing Julie's interview with comedians Kane Holloway & Greg Behrendt from DTBFF. We discuss tactics that work (or don't work) for taking the elusive pic, why your worst self is never your best self, and how it's never OK to send pics of your bedroom activities to your sister.

Listen to 'Don't Take Bullshit from Fuckers' and follow DTBFF, Greg, Kane, and Pat on Instagram @dtbffpodcast, @itsgreggers, @kaneholloway, and @dtbffproducerpat or your other favorite podcast players

Thank you to our partners for this episode:

BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of online therapy at betterhelp.com/dateable with the code DATEABLE

Thrive Causemetics: For 15% off your first order visit https://thrivecausemetics.com/DATEABLE

Episode Transcript

BONUS: Is it a Dick Pic if it's not your Dick? w/ Kane Holloway &  Greg Behrendt of 'Don't Take Bullshit from Fuckers'

00:00:01 - 00:05:01

The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves.  I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world.

Hello everyone welcome to another episode of the table. Podcast where we dig into the whys of people's behavior when it comes to modern dating modern romance mada relationships and modern bullshit which is perfectly allied with the eve of this episode again. Is you know you probably heard last week's episode with you a on take bullshit from fuckers and this week is my episode there so it definitely fits it with this theme bullshit. That's for damn sure. And if you have a listen to their podcast yet. It's hosted by two comedians. Greg behrendt and kane holloway. Who have a generation in between them so they can share their different opinion to and perspectives. But they also offer so much humor and this episode. They interviewed julie. And of course anytime you interview. Julie you have to talk about dick pics. I don't know why. I kinda feel like that's you or i think the best is the best that you a war them that of the two of us. She's the raj here yet. Somehow this episode ended up being like way brought cheer baby. I felt like i needed to like step. It up a notch something. It was a challenge. I think it's funny that you said that though. Because i got i got a little dirty on their episode and i was like just so you guys know julie's not as dirty as i am okay so robotic because i felt like they were blushes at one point. You were talking about rock vitz episode with peg a bit so i feel like yours went there but mine turned into a combo on dick packs and one of the things we talked about was. I shared a story of a friend of mine a friend. I'm just kidding. It really was a friend. It wasn't me but that. Got a dick pic on thanksgiving. You'll hear the whole story but there is a ruler involved so of course you. A poll is one of the clips. They gave us was about that. And i love that. You put up a poll out. It's grab about who has received a dick pic with a ruler at. I want to say that. I feel like there was a disproportional yeses of members of our gay community. Did you notice that. Oh i didn't yes. A hundred percent of the people that said yes. There was a much bigger. Majority of galas is which i guess isn't surprising well. It's definitely very straightforward right. Yeah size matters here it is. I'm going to show you exactly. Yeah good times. I'm glad that i could uphold that for you on. The swan was such a funny conversation because the way they format their podcast. It's segmented in each segment is about something topical. So as a guess. You don't really know what they're going to bring up and you'll just have to just react to it. So whenever they brought up something what was it they were talking about. No you brought up dick pics. Julie did i remember how it if it came up. But i guess you'll all hear the episode as we hear julie brought up the topic and they just ruled with but also i just want to bring it back to something old school. Do you remember when we did a little short called a decorator. Okay yes see the decorator. It goes hand in hand with these dick pics because we are always wondering you're sending a dick pic at least make it interesting next year. Ruler does not make it interesting in front of the piece of brad. You're eating does not make it interesting in your bathroom mirror does not make it interesting would have you could dress it up with a hat and sunglasses and give it different occupations. Could be doctor on moyer. it could be a janitor. Your imagination can take your dick pigs to a whole other level so with decorator app that we created quote unquote. It's not real. Sorry out on us as you can dress up your dick picks and we made entire short. I'm calling it a short film so we make our artistic totally needs to like. Enter it into a film festival. It's definitely film festival worthy. Also what is points out so we did cast it with a bunch of people that have been on the podcast. Four and one of our friends kiana long term. What have you. Eight is really close friends. That have been a lot. She's been a guest multiple times on the podcast. She's gone by fake names on some real dave's on some and she has been acting school in.

00:05:01 - 00:10:03

This was what of her debuts at her mom saw this video and we started taking her seriously as an actor because this video you didn't know that she's going to be her manager now all because of the dick decorator. I did not know the story. You're telling me we we launch kion as karrar we did you and are changing. Lives not just for dating. I mean i'm. I'm assuming all the other people that were the video also had major life moments because of it clearly. Clearly i gotta handed to kiana. She did such an amazing job. She's like the infomercial host of this decorator products. She was so serious the entire time. She kept her cool. Meanwhile we're all giggling little schoolgirls in the background. And i don't know how she kept her cool thing entire time. Those such fun shoe that was it was a very long shoot. I think i was unaware of how log those were. And i was like dab because my house was the set also yes and we had five girls on. Julie's bed at one time boy did i. These cars. I just got back from verb. Watch for a very. Pg time with my brother sister in law and niece that i have just met for the first time so that was very nice. But we were talking about dick pic. So it's nice to be back with you. You a way e missing combo i missed you guys you just like turn it on and off depending on who you're with and sometimes like sometimes i wonder i'm like is my personality more on this way than thus way and i don't think it's necessarily wonder the other it just different people bring things out in me. You know like depending on who you're with it's like all rooted personality like i can turn on sweet side i can turn it on a little raunchy side you know depends on the situation of it. You're a chameleon i just can't turn it off your like even if i was with by the side of like unlike at church just sticks free to get on that decorator out. Nothing wrong with that. My my mind is always in the gutter. There's nothing wrong with that but we can talk about first of all. Your picks looked amazing. You had a great birthday yes. It was a really nice birthday. I've now officially so much wiser. Thirty eight years old. Officially in my late thirties were going there. Yeah welcome right. Is it like the thirties. You're like prime. Isn't that what it is like late thirties. That's what they said when when we were twenty five just to get something to look forward to but now they're gonna say forty. It's a new twenty. So that gives you something to look forward to. And once you turn forty. And i'll be in my forties already. They'll be like fifty. It's the new fifteen. I feel like that is the truth. Because i've heard so tiny about like how like the forties where you're like sexual prime and i was like wait. I thought thirties section era. I guess for women. It just keeps going like women are just on. The upward. Trajectory and men are on the downward. You're in a hetero relationship. How does that work. Okay men what is your. What is your contribution to society now. Let's talk about elite okay. We're now we're constantly levin leveling up ourselves like what is your contribution l. an equal partner at equal partner. Well because men can't have children and it will never be equal. Biologically ill never. That's true so this is a conversation. We'll be having hopefully season thirteen because it's a people are questioning this right. What is immoral partnership really mean. Is that something we should be striving for. But i'm always just staring at my partner thinking. What is your role here. Shift yes companionship. I don't know. I would so much rather be the way. It is now then back in the day. When you were like reliant on someone for financial means like i would much rather have a partner that is just a like a friend at the core of it like a friend that you're romantically attracted to. That's like your go-to person. Like i would so much rather that than like a provider and all that shit offense benefit. That's what that would be as committed friends with that. You can only be friends with benefits with each other. Exactly exactly. I mean that's why like the word for i don't know friends with benefits is a weird term to me because usually the people that you're friends with benefits with. You're not really friends with right. Like i feel like what i've had friends with benefits. They're like people that like. I try day. Just wasn't there so we just kept continuing. But i've had one friend like it was a friend i that kate went into more. But i don't feel like that's like always the definition of who becomes your friends with benefits. Also don't you think it undermines your actual friends are they. Then you're playing our friends without benefits.

00:10:03 - 00:15:00

Are there no benefits to any of your girlfriend's now. I feel like it needs a new term. I don't like friends with benefits. It gets fuck buddy. That's what it just call it. What it is. Yeah sor- definitely other benefits to friendships unless you were truly friends before. That's the only way it could be like a friends with benefits. But then you won't be friends anymore. I don't know that's gonna kill your friendship. Basically friendship killer. There we go. That's wearing a friendship killer relationship. That sounds lovely. When you're in it we murdered our friendship for this. Better be worth it. She we go back to talking about dick pic. Because i feel like it's related to our question and we of course offer to get in there hearing it back steering it back to decks making a friends with benefits and two decks. Usually you only say way from now your deck sounds like you're saying like deck like death. Valley patio yeah. I'm sure everyone's saying that way now too. You can't get out of your head if it does turn you onto here at that way. I don't know what does your dad. Oh baby i like your dad hear dirty talk bedroom. Talk my boyfriend's like why we don't do dirty talk he's like. That was a fantasy. That i thought would be good that you did it reality. And he's always like you like that. And i'm like i love your deck. Get off now. this is over shh. Let's play a new role playing silence. Silence inside boyce. Let's shoot dirty talk but you actually don't verbally talk. You is a silent. It's a silent game who could be the most silent. It's really hot silent. more silent divorce. I am sweating saw. So i have a little relieved to be back. The west coast rocket allies hot. Fuck is interesting. Oh yeah this is just too hot to handle thank god. I was having this condo back. When i was on the east coast. You might have been or brother sister. Lower the other room although my sister-in-law's toilets act intro to a question ever is it is could give it to us. What is it or sex question from a few weeks ago was so popular. The one sex better with socks on we decided to bring back in another commonly google sex question because when we are a sex podcast quote unquote. We like to pretend we know all the sexual answers so the question. That is second. Most google about sex is does size really matter when it comes to as fit daiei to do this in love this questions so much. I love this question so much. Okay so what do you think. I love questions so much. Because how can people know the answer vaginas. Different decks are dax are so different. You would have a crowd source this information. Yes size matters when it comes to the media every show every movie will tell you size matters but does it actually matter. I've seen a really big deck in my life and i did not want my vagina. 'cause i'm like that thing is going to rip me apart. So can we talk about for a second this little bit of a challenge but can we talk about sex life. That tv show on. That is a big as breezy boiler alert for anyone here but this you probably have seen the series already. It's a few weeks old. At this point it's shot number wad audette flakes unless no sharing out with your parents at least watch zero plotline or enough plot that might have been able to cover three episodes not like ten but it episode three. There is the most massive deck ever. And i told you about it and you just i've ever like giving me live text updates whether you watching and you're like you didn't even do this justice. It is freaking massive. I saw that day. I don't think it's real. There's no way that's like went down. It went down to his fucking knees like have no way. Yes and also mike okay to bring it back to the question. I feel like that would hurt like that. Wouldn't even be enjoyable. But that being said to your point everybody is different so maybe there is someone that really likes that. I think it's all about finding the right fit. And i also think too.

00:15:00 - 00:20:00

It depends on position different positions. Feel different too. So if you have someone that you're with and things aren't clicking for whatever reason it may not be a lost cause it might just be that you need to find the positions that work for your body's yup and two for me personally. Girth is a little bit more important than link. I enjoy more clitoral. Stimulus versus g spot stimulation. So the the entry of appeanas is very important in it. The girth does matter. But i've also heard from girlfriends and also ricky lake the size of the ocean. It's the motion of the ocean. You work your debt. There's somebody factors. She just wanted to say it again. That's like that. But i think it's just like it's one of those things that it feels like. There should be like very cut and dry answer to this question but there just isn't. There isn't one there so hard. So i feel like that's what makes sex advice really difficult to. I know we'd like to pretend like we have all the answers. But we don't at. I think part of it is that everybody is so different like you can do one thing to one person in the get a great reaction the same exact thing to someone else in. It doesn't do anything it's not like you're bad or good or like yudo. Whatever it is that you're the chemistry or the connection or whatever that you're with this person is different and that's what makes it hard because there's not like one formula that you follow there isn't there isn't a magical measurement of the magic penis that works for every woman or every man. This question does show is. You should be asking your partner. How does this feel is giving you musher. Should i do this again. Next time for me. Speed is also important. If you very up a little bit slow sensual that is nice. And i will give you that feedback but you should be asking your partner. Does this feel good. Just because maybe you have a big deck doesn't mean you know how to use it right. I feel like sometimes people that do don't know how to use it because they think that they don't have to like do anything does lay here. It is it's like you know. I also think sex doesn't have to be so serious either like i dislike like laughing even during sex like it doesn't need to be analyzed. Sex life for instance like the scene seat like they're kinda hot to watch but they're very kind of feel a little unattainable i think like there is two does not how sex operates so understandable they have sex on a subway track. How does that work. And also i just kept thinking like are you gonna pee after i think peeing after sex is so important so you can get you is. Where does she go pee. What's happening also like sometimes these like really intricate things like that. Like they sound like a good idea in theory and yeah he just don't work. You would have to get like the right angle one hundred percent like how would you do that like standing up. I don't know it just doesn't feel like it would be that natural. We should do a whole episode on this show. 'cause i also thought that there was a little too much fingering going on just like he was mingrelia but also like i don't only gets i feel like that's did like eighth grade like i'm not opposed to it now but i'm not like oh my god. That's the bait attraction like why was that such a focal point in the beginning. It was like oh. He's trying to warm her off. They go back to her place and then he starts fingering her. I'm like that's great and that was like fingering at the restaurant and then figuring at the bar and the finger at the soccer game like finger. I don't even know. Every scene had fingering something that happened beforehand. And i just kept enough of the fingering. Also like wash your fucking hand. I guess though it's easier like their whole thing was that they did things in like environments. That weren't typical. Easier dislike whipping out there right right while when you have a dick that big as a little harder to with. I don't know what i googled. Sex life articles were like was that real. That's what like all them came up baz. I'm still unsure i. Just don't think was massive. I've never asked even seen something in movies or tv like that before. Massive and it was it was flaccid. that's the was even ragged. Oh my god. I can't imagine how big thing would be. Erect a bigger is always better is a mess. I think that is definitely true. Yes that's the point. We're trying to bring home here. Yes exactly that way again. Like like it's like if you are super well endowed doesn't mean that like you're screwed either like you can find someone that the fit is great with but i think just because it is like it doesn't mean that you're just gonna be like a in bed all the time. Yeah and you still got try. I still remember the sky date at new york. Four play with so hot net huge day and whenever we try to have sex it was the most boring awful sex ever.

00:20:00 - 00:25:03

You dislike flocked around. Couldn't get hard. Yeah because you didn't have to try. You didn't like really hot people that aren't funny or have no personality. It's the same different you know. You don't have to develop it no. You can't get away with this shit. Take your deck elsewhere. Work and hurt again hurt. Also it's too big. Yeah oh yeah. That's not fun so anyways don't be discouraged either direction. Your perfect fit is out there. I gotta keep it hopeful. They be like that should be like an inspirational quote. Your perfect fit is out there. How i like that. Yeah you're perfect. You're perfect hole is out there like that. Just made it right. Okay all right sorry bring it back bring back. What are we talking about. You know we are heading into this episode. So we're going to stop rebel league about dick pace. 'cause we talk about that more and dix general idea announcements that we have this week. I think for me. What's top mind. Is you know. The huge joined love in the time of corona by the dateable. Podcast are very pop and facebook group. We still need to come up with a new name soon as i think any covert reminder may not be the way to go in the future so we will be doing a paul one day to say what name would you like to rename this group. Oh yeah but a lot of meet ups are happening from the group. A lot of people are really get real life There's a couple that are happening in the philly area dc area. I've heard of so. We are still a couple. Months are getting closer to the san francisco. Meet up we got some people flying in from all over the country of. I don't think canada yet because the borders but the us in general and they wanted to go to the birthplace of weird dateable started. I think we should give them a little tour guide when they com- golden gate bridge. Maybe that bar. Where we i decided to do. Dateable which bar remember. You don't have up for god you a it was well. It's it's a different place now. it doesn't exist anymore. Which is sad. It was called ought to me sta on union street. I've ran is now a restaurant while we were a few drinks in. But i remember i have a memory of goals for us. We can bring people by as old apartment. Yes we still have. A frank courtney k that lives there so she can let us it and we can all go to apartment twelve o seven and just stand there. That would be creepy. Abby really creepy. But i know nobody lives there so we can just break in. I saw have keys. We're good we can definitely get in. If our listeners have any requests from the previous episodes. You've listened to where we mentioned a landmark in san francisco. Let us know. And then we'll put it on our tour list. We totally should make like a airbnb tour guide. You'd like you could do like airbnb. Gosh the dateable experience. That's that's good idea. Let's get into some sponsors. This episode is sponsored by better help. We dateable are huge fans of therapy in better help can match you with your own licensed therapist and connect you in a safe and private online environment. Me for example. I was able to start communicating with my therapist in less than forty eight hours. It was so quick now. Better help is committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches and it's more affordable than traditional offline counseling. They're licensed professionals specialize in everything from dating trauma stress anxiety trauma with a big t. A depression grief you name it. They have someone who's an expert in that we adaptable dateable. Wish for all of you to live a happy healthy life. And that's why the listener you'll get ten percent off your first month by visiting our sponsor at better help dot com slash dateable. Join over one million people who have taken charge of their mental health again. That's better help. Spelled h. e. l. p. dot com slash d. a. t. e. a. l. e. We know that when it comes to beauty products. There are so many options. But we're going to make the choice really simple for you. Thrive cosmetics is a line of high performance award winning products that are made with clean high performance skin loving ingredients. All of their products are formulated without parabens sulfates fads. I am completely obsessed with the liquid. Lash extensions basque era. I have lash extensions as some of your member and gave that up during quarantine. But now i don't even need them because this mascara is like magic it's completely flake. Free smudge free and clump frey and makes my lashes. Look so long. And i have oily is so this is the first mascara. I've found that doesn't smudge also as part of their bigger than beauty mission for every product.

00:25:03 - 00:30:04

Purchase thrive cosmetics will support nonprofit partners with donation of funds were products. I am truly inspired by how this is a beauty brand that goes beyond being skin deep. We know you'll fall in love with him too. So that's why we're giving you a special offer. Just go to thrive cosmetics dot com slash dateable for fifteen percent off your first purchase. This is an exclusive offer. You can only get here. That's thrive c. a. u. s. e. m. e. t. s. dot com slash dat ab l. e. For fifteen percent off thrive cosmetic dot com slash. Dateable okay so shall we get into. Dick's picks in all the good stuff with came and greg dax. You're listening. Don't take bullshit from fuckers host greg and kane so is that hey are you going to start the show off with an Let me try again then again. Let me try again. Use your instincts wanna go get broadcasting. Would your broadcasting thinks. Welcome from fuckers. This is my last episode. How about that. We we have a guest today. On in the studio on kane holloway. That's gregor's we got producer pat and caesar salad. The dog schilling right now. And then. We have from the dateable podcasts. Julie craft chick that my pronouncing that right you. You got it one hundred percent right. I'm so glad to be here with you. thank you for coming on and you watch the bachelorette at all you know. I am not i. I think i'm like maybe one of the lone women out there that does not watch the bachelorette actually one of the guys from the bachelorette on our podcast. Ven mode. john have you heard of him at all. no so he was like a few seasons back. He was also in bachelor in paradise and he used to work advan mo- which was his nickname on the show then mouth exactly. He was apparently the most eligible male on the bachelorette ever just because of his life outside of the bachelorette. That was the fun fact. I learned what we talked to him. But we had all these people all of our listeners. We kind of like to share that. We're gonna have him and everyone thought it was a huge deal so we had a few people come to our studio to meet him and they were all going like wild. And i'm like i have no idea. The sky is neither of my daughters my wife. they wouldn't be caught dead watching the bachelor the bachelorette do you both watch it. Kanai both watch it. Yes mccain and i both kane got me started on what's going on right now like i have no clue. I'm so out of it with the show. They have new hosts and new girl and this has been to already what two episodes and she's sex positive. She's so much more interesting than the bachelor to watch. She's fun to watch. tv she is. She's cried most of last episode. She made her date cry. And i was working out while watching it and all of a sudden a big mud wrestling fight broke out As as a group date and high don't understand why so many almost every season they pit the men and women against each other in some sort of battle royale and then every time. It's like oh shit. They have like this clip. Or they're like to just get hurt. Oh no and there's like this big to do about it and then later on and it's absolutely meaningless a lot like the show general but the men. The men have to wrestle shirtless with cowboy hats. They're always reduced to just short pants. It shows you exactly like not. One of those guys is afraid. Take their shirt off. There's a large swath of the male population. It's not being honored in the show. There's never there's never a factor that psychologist keep shirt on. That's when you know you're in a happy healthy relationship when there was crying and mud wrestling. That's the only thing. I need your good so true. They need the great british bake off. And then i'll be set. That's my second favorite reality. Show you dateable. We had on. Us shoe Her episode came out last week and she was a blast.

00:30:04 - 00:35:02

That was a lot of fun. And you guys show. Are you guys have a great dynamic. It's really an interesting. Listen thank you always like to hear that so really appreciate at. When did you guys. I don't know if we asked you this beforehand but like when did you guys get started. You know it started. It started like all good things start. We were just like at a bar and we're like let's do a dating podcast. This was in two thousand sixteen. We had no idea really what podcasts even were. We're just like let's record with our friends. I think we were both kind of like in interesting personal situations like she was brand new to san francisco. We were both based. She's now in la where you are candy and She was near the city was just utterly confused by what was going on here and i have been here for like ten years and i was like in and out of a serious relationships. I think when we both met we were like okay. We need to figure out what the hell is going on with. Modern day and that kind of just spiraled at all. That's great. I also love how you brought up that you had a bachelor. This could not worked out. Better you had bachelor contestant and his name was then mo what was it venema. What ben mo. John john greg. Should we call you vin more greg. That's my social media platform of choice. I will only friend you on. I was listening to one of your episodes where you're going off about bedbugs. That is like the scene social media network to really get like that cloud i love. It was ways for a while. And i just wasn't getting traction. I want it. I really like ways. It's a great act and say hi to other people that are driving at the same time. You are How many friends do you have on bimbo greg. Oh hundreds to you how company i have because i feel another hundred but i just learned this the other day. I had no idea that. I had any friends on mo and i think it be automatically connects to your like contact list or something that does i have one hundred and seven friends on ben. Mo- i pay like three people at a time. Why do i have a hundred seven friends. I have like five something which i have no idea where they came from. Four eighty seven so almost five hundred you have. We almost five hundred. What this shit. That's incredible this. Is you know how many haven't been. Well i do too. I keep it tight. Cain it greg greg not the other one. You heard of the ben most scams that people do. Have you heard about this. That like someone will offer to a photo of you so the next time like you get an overzealous person that wants to take a photo be wary. Because what they'll do is they'll take picture and they'll mo themselves like ten thousand dollars from your account. There's like think what. How would you even do that. That's like mind boggling right yes. They'll they'll pretend to take a photo in while they're doing the photo they'll actually be on your van mo- then mowing themselves money off your account. While my god we got a question in at dtb f f podcast g mail dot com. You can also send in your questions to dtp f f podcast on instagram. And we got one in from anonymous. She's always writing in an office. That son of a gun she goes. I feel like i'm emotionally cheating. Please keep me anonymous also. Could pat read this one in his voice. It's the best. They want you to read this fat. I i'm a big fan of the podcast. And i love hearing you guys riff about syria ship. You really make it. Feel like tackling heavy bullshit can be manageable with that said help. I've been married three years. And i love my man very much and we have a great relationship. We still laugh and have fun and have sex not as much as we used to. We recently went three weeks. Not having sex which is weird for us because usually we have sex a couple times a week i noticed that my urge to not have sex with my husband came after i went back to work and started having a work flirtation with a co-worker. He's really handsome. Funny and we like a lot of the same things we started taking breaks together getting lunch together and we are really touchy to the point. Where restarted hugging. When we see each other. And i get really excited to go to work completely forgetting curbing rules altogether because feels good to be touched by half. I still love my husband. He's still really attentive. And i am attracted to him and i don't think i would ever cheat on him but this coworker issue feels like a problem. What do i do. Keep up the good work. Love the podcast. I've been in the cult from the beginning love anonymous. It almost seems it is cheating kinda right a little bit. Yeah pretended there. There's a lot of intimacy in that. Yeah there's a lot of intimacy cheating is almost worse in my opinion is it. Yeah i think. Because i feel like when feelings are involved. I think that's what would upset me more than just physical.

00:35:03 - 00:40:06

Yeah the excited. Siham the i want to go to work. I'm excited to be away from my house news. It's it's so i'm used to it. It's familiar so i'm going to go somewhere where it's like new and exciting. She needs to bring the excitement back into her marriage. That's opinion why it sounds like the way. She described her husband to the way she described his work. Guy was like drastically different in terms of excitement. Which if i was her husband. I probably wouldn't be thrilled about. So i feel like i don't know i think it'd be three years like it. Sounds like they're in a little bit of a drought with saxon stops. Maybe they need like step it up a notch. No a lot of couples have been dealing with this with cova. Sometimes you're just you know in pajamas all the time and it's not the most sexy five's going down some maybe they just need to get out of the rot a little and see if they can bring the magic back ivan maybe go on a vacation Like step away from work like planned vacation with your husband's see if your husband's like excited to go out with you and just be the two together find that spark again get away from the guy get away from work and away from the whole thing like the sexism dying in their relationship completely. It's still there. It's just that she's kind of attracted to that other guy. Yeah it depends on how tractors she is to that guy. She should probably quit. Not just always be blocking is across the board. Quit your job. Stop talking to that guy. I think you should. I think she should cool with the guy at work. I think she should be the bigger man and go look at. I'm married. we stop with all the touching in the breaking of the covert rules and all that and just be smarter about it right like. Where does she work. I feel like touching is at a decisively at work ever. No absolutely although i did go to a restaurant the other week in my one of my friends i was with that was they are walked into the bathroom and there were chew waitresses just like going at it in the bathroom stall so you know. Sometimes there's energy at work but that's anonymous and we were to answer this that's her she's like things are already bad with my husband's let's bowl to do that at the restaurant when you're a waitress. Coupla waitresses and there were stalls. I was like why did they go in the stall like. Why were they like in the open. Bathroom like it could have been so much easier. They wanted to get caught. Probably there'd be an unclean right. Greg unclean unclean covert pent up energy. Going on right now yeah. I sure everything we said was good. I think try out those things till that guy stop it. Bring a spray bottle work and when he comes up for a hug sketch right in the is to the ice. Sounds like the best technique. Connor cool at trying to absolutely Hey everyone are you sick of taking bullshit from fuckers. Want direct help from kane or myself. We hold a bimonthly workshop. Zoom for people who not only want to stop taking bullshit from fuckers wanna recognize brokers before they even smell the bullshit. We've helped many people from our workshops previous attendees said. I'm so happy. This event was an honest and genuine. Event led by amazing people kane and i would be the amazing people in that sense. I got so much more out of this than i ever could have imagined so go to. Don't take bullshit from fuckers dot big cartel dot com to secure your seat and stopped taking both from fuckers. You can also find this link in the show's description. Julie you have the option of picking. We have three different versions of the theme song. We have the original version the kid show version and we have the death metal version. Two of them made by pat. I don't even know this. These are somebody could options. I'm gonna go death metal version threat. Don't make data twelve dot pleased that of a cat Three and monday.

00:40:06 - 00:45:01

That i assume breath. What do you think about julie. I loved every second of it. Now i wanna hear all three version i love. We have options We have some sent in to from smokey creeping. He sent one in that says. I've been driving a subaru for almost a month now. Is someone supposed to send me my coexist bumper sticker or does it just grow on there. I don't get it. I think it means it liberals drive. Subaru's i hate it. I hear i hated hated. I hated it. I posted one today. That says the most terrifying thing is to accept one self completely is that ed. You're more mondays am i right. Yeah by karajan. Wait till you hear mind. You're going to hate it okay. Great we ready. Yeah keep your spirit. Lay your booty tight and your goals in sight. Where do you get that merch. Made your your booty type that does not apply to you and me. No not a fly. Can't beat each hider. What do you think of that julie. I want the bumper sticker. I feel like a t-shirt maybe. A t shirt rock around. Yeah for sure. Oh for sure. I love somebody posted this like they sought they went. Yeah i'm gonna put this up glaze inside that your spirit light your booty tied and your goals and that's it. What if that you save. Somebody's life yeah they saad. They're like okay. Should i never put it that way. A put it that way. I just wraps up everything in life really. Does i mean. I don't feel any better for hearing it. I do like the start of it. Like keep your spirit light like hey come on. Let's all nama stay. Let's let's enjoy the day. Keep it light booty. Try to keep it tight and don't forget where your goals are inside. Do you have any julie of bad quotes her or whatever but things. That might maybe inspired. We want them to be good. Okay inspiring i like when you get ruled paper right the other way. That's always one of my favorite was like it's basically like you know don't ride in the lines. Don't color in the lines. find your own path. Type thing i enjoy. I think outside the box kind of thing I enjoy that one so many times. Where like we should do this or we should do that. Because that's like what you're told and it's always like is that actually what you wanna do. Yeah absolutely yeah. So cain like you should have a podcast and then maybe you shouldn't less we forget you asked me to. Do you know what i'm saying. I wasn't i'm saying sitting in my cout or my apartment minding my own business. I xe message from my friend. Let's do is show. And i said yeah dick ed one quote that i was like this is the worst that i've seen. I think so. Sometimes your worst self is your best self. How is ever like. I think it can get their lights. That is if you go through bad things. But i feel like that's just justifying all sorts of that behavior totally. I have a lot of people that would argue that. My worst self was not my best. Self yeah nobody wants an entire family full of people. I go that most people's were self not their best south like everyone's gonna have bad qualities that aren't ideal but it's not going to be your best qualities except for loki. Yeah what about loki. How did these worse is best. Oh yeah i guess you're right. I think you're talking about the show at no. You meant the character. Yeah yeah locals were self as bestself. You're right yeah that's absolutely true. I think i think that applies to every bachelor and bachelorette contestant all of their worst cells.

00:45:01 - 00:50:00

Go on that show and then The are entertaining very entertaining. We like it when they're bad because it gives us something to make fun of better about ourselves Feel a lot better. at least. That's what you're selfish your bestself when at other at the expense of others entertainment. I wanted to share this update with you guys. A couple episodes ago we had a listener right in. She's dating a guy that recently got out of a longterm relationship with someone for like a decade and then a few months afterwards they started dating and he had a bunch of pictures of his ex pop up and she wanted him to delete it and he was unwilling at the moment and then eventually like did delete them. I believe. And then she sent an update that says hey he felt really bad about it and spent a whole day deleting the ones of them together and putting all the ones of her on a cloud file which he will share with her and give her a week to do what she wants with them before deleting them i think he was being lazy and had not really considered how it may make me feel having them all on his phone. I don't think therefore he was being a fucker and he was really worried and felt bad when he made me feel negative about it. Thanks son your podcast thoughts about it. You let your idea. I mean i agree with what you all said that. He's clearly just not in the right place to be in this relationship. I don't think that he should have to delete his photos like he shouldn't be like looking at them every day. Googling them but i think it's a memory of your life. I would not be okay if someone asked me to. Delete my photos of my exes. That doesn't mean. I'm caught up in them or thinking about but i think it's just the it feels unfair to me. I guess to expect that of someone because if it's truly not in the way that it shouldn't be a problem if there's other reasons why it's in the way that probably has nothing to do with the photos and that means that he's just not ready to be dating for many other reasons photos aside or not. I think that's pretty fair. I think you're right. I think if you're at the point where you have to ask yourself what are you afraid of. You know what are you so afraid of that. He can't have those pictures. I mean i have pictures. I mean in boxes of x.'s. Or things that. I did that involved in x. Or you know like better bigger memories or events that we were at or that kind of thing not a lot. Not and i don't go like i just threw away a bunch of letters from high school and stuff like that. Just because i didn't need it anymore i need to. I didn't need to carry it around with me too much too much stuff like if you walked into their house and they had like frames of their ex everywhere. I think that's a very different thing. That would be a little too much. And he painted those photos and then hung the painting to the photo shrine in his living room. Yeah he's got candle wax figures of x. Burning next to like an like an effigy or whatever. Yeah that would be. It would be a little hard. I feel like there's a lot of ego involved in if he's not commemorating them in some big way. I think it's not a big deal. So you're both right like the idea of like it popping up on his phone. He has no control over like a memory. Every once in a while is they. Hey y'all wanna check out this memory and then it's there she is and you're just like delete it. I don't wanna see it's like well you know i mean it's just just a picture often somebody is offered membrane. It's just a dick pic. Yeah this remember this summer when you check out what was your guess. What types of picks were popping up. Maybe there's more to the story that we're not aware yeah look for. My dick looks somber. That day i was not into this. So i requested for you. Both related to dick picks one of my friends. Got a dick pic. Once on thanksgiving she which is already the best right like is this guy was like with his family at dinner. She gets addict. Paek he's in the bathroom and it has a ruler next to it. Do you think that he already had it's stored in his phone. He was just like. I'm going to send it or do you think he went in on thanksgiving and took the photo real time. Well i'm so concerned about the ruler. The ruler as well like where did he took around thanksgiving. Where did he get the where. I need to get a roller dasa. I tell me. Also who's asking for a fucking. Can you really need to know. Exactly how big your decades as photos can lie. You can take them certain angle. I know i'll big. It is now go around the room.

00:50:00 - 00:55:10

I know you're at thanksgiving dinner. And there's children there and i know they have rulers. Are you doing here from the balls or from the base. Yes from the base. It's a lot shorter if you're doing it from the balls then you've got some work ahead of you. This guy was an option miser. He's probably i mean you. Probably you probably went taint from tain out and so the and that's even more disturbing because what adult person has a ruler. Do you have does anyone here in this current episode. Have a roller this. I don't have measuring tape measuring tape would be more aggressive. I think i don't know because you have to take that out. And you gotta click the thing. Then you gotta make sure that it doesn't like slop down on you so you gotta try and with that thing back in doing so. You're doing that both times. You're you gotta get the foam setup with timer yet to set the timer. Click out. god. I hope it all works out so i got one way back in the day. I think it was on tinder. One of the dating apps and we were chatting was telling me about like how he liked to cook. And you know it's a really nice conversation and then all of a sudden it was this and the best part was the dick was not the same race as the photos of the people. The guy talking. I'm like either. Your lighting is different or you found some dick on the internet. And now that's what you're sending. It was so utterly confusing. I just like dixie. i found a great senator yours. Visit your skins are ten times darker this phone the other. That's that's my now. That's my arthur just trying to get a gauge before we keep this conversation go. I thought maybe like wow. What a weird thing to get. What a weird thing to do. What a weird dictator. General are bizarre. I sent my first one out very recently to the girl. I'm saying now. I hated doing it. It was not fun. I took a took a lot longer than i thought. It took longer than i thought it would take. And then i sent it and apparently my angle was weird. And she made fun of me. A bunch of times mike allen entity after but we made like a spoof video about dick pic like about how the reason why girls don't like them because they're boring and if there was an app that would basically give like filter your dick pic. That would solve all your problems so we called it. The decorator this is our fitting does not exist. People use like in the apple phone. Got the thing that's all sparkley. I wonder how many people use that. Yeah we have embraer on them like different. You know little turn terror. Show your personality jennifer. If i if i had been single i would the first and only dick pic i would have sent is of vomiting a rainbow and like anime spark allies. On top of it greg. That would've called for maybe concerned if the x. found that photo that's the arc laying on my good lord in heaven us into the jared freda julie and you heard him talking shit about my silent day since sincere abreast. What do you think of the silent day. You also hit it hit it. He said i don't even know i. Okay let me actually let me clarify in what lean number. What date number is this because if it state number one i hate it if the date number like five. Plus maybe find entertaining. You're five or six okay in the middle where you're like we've been we've been doing enough. The regular kind of dating. Let's do something kinda kooky and weird and idea i mean. I think that's us change things that it's later on. If it was your first state. I'd be like what the fuck definite. Yeah you gotta talk. I'm a chatterbox. I can't stop talking sometimes but I think it could be entertaining. I remember like in college. I got like super high with what by fred's that we like did whole walk home and we just couldn't talk to each other like that was like earth thing and it was entertaining and i remember it all these years later so maybe it could be.

00:55:10 - 01:00:00

It could be a good memory. I'm not a fifty fifty on it. I was like one hundred percent if it's the first state who's coming with me. Have you tried this state before. Now i don't know i don't think it's gonna come off the ground because like i said last jared's episode girl i'm seeing initially said she liked it but that was because we were like courting or whatever flirting 'cause like i got like we're trying to get to know each other and she's going to be like mouth i can. Do you suck what a dumb idea. That's like a couple of months in and that stuff comes at me and her can't stop talking you. In fact like i met her friends she got a little drunk and we were in the car. And i was. I was just kinda like tired and wasn't really saying anything and she's like what are you thinking about and i was like nothing. Been like thirty seconds went by and she was like what's what's on your mind. I can nothing like all this island day would not work. It's i'm is that a preview of the silent date where you just try to like sadder. She'd be into it her tired. Nothing left to say when you meet a bunch of people. I've talked so much. I think i'm done talking for the rest of the day. And she was drunk so she was and she was drunk and it was her first time being drunk around me and i don't drink and really going back to her place I think she was just checking in making sure. I was an entire. And you know like greg and i feel like you don't have to check in with us. We know how to be around drunks. You don't have to check in with a lot of people who are drunk. Kind will sometimes feel uncomfortable around us since we're non. You just called her a drunk on just called her we this. I know how to pay for on drugs so you just called. Her isn't drunk. Versus was drunk is two different statement title her personality. It's just what she was at the time. Yes exactly was drunk is a fact is a trunk is a personality was was a okay we got read it remix read it remix. My wife send pictures slash videos of our bedroom activities to her sister. Broadway account for obvious reasons me and my wife have been together for eleven years married for four and a half to children. We have the usual fight now and then but overall we try and maintain a healthy relationship. Her sister has been married for about twelve years with two children. She lives in a different town and we all get along fine but a month ago i noticed my wife taking pictures and videos now and then of us in our private time. Why is he. So if it's a throwaway you guys were fucking jesus. Christ cooking meth damn. I didn't pay much attention to this as she says she likes. Looking at these pictures and videos. When i travel for work which is in it. Yesterday i was setting up backups for our photos videos etc for our phones in p. c.'s. When i noticed there were duplications of the pictures and videos. She took after checking out why. I realized the pictures videos were shared on. What's app when sending media the original picture slash. Video will stay in your gallery. And what's at makes a copy of the picture slash video stores it in. What's app images slash sent tracking. This back found out. These were all shared with her sister. A wife and her sister are very close and looking at the messages. It seems her sisters sex life had become very stale and she reached out to my wife or to support and how to spice up their sex life after back and forth communication over a few days. Her sister wanted to see how my wife does. These sexual actions. My wife initially declined. But after a lot of bagging she relented. Her sister now uses the pictures and video as masturbation material. All my get worse. God oh my god. Oh my god i have never been in a situation like this and have no idea what to do. Should i even bring this up or sweep it under rug me and my wife do communicate pretty good but i didn't even know how to start this conference. He hundred percent needs to break this up. Like what my wife doesn't send anything to her sister for about two weeks and she messaged her sister to say we will not send more god that is horrifying everything about it all. I hate all of those people. Why would you ever do that like.

01:00:00 - 01:05:01

There's so many resources on the internet. Help you with your sex life. Why would you wanna see recycling. Yeah you can find the kinky shit online for free. Can't find your sister though. No you can't i. Maybe that's your thing. It's a super fetish as yeah. I'm confused 'cause it's like her. Sex life is stale. so she's like hey. Can you give me some tips and tricks. That's one thing like you could do that if you're close enough with your siblings i wouldn't explain this fucking that you're doing. I don't know what that is. You show me fucking video of fucking. 'cause i i don't really get it okay. Look at that video of fucking with her husband. That seems a little off. I what i could do. Send you links to porn sites. Would you like now instead. Then i don't wanna see strangers fucking that i don't now be more comfortable. I know fucking okay. She then how about this. I send you. i'll ask my friend elizabeth. If she and her husband can take video. And i can send you that how about that. I don't know them again. It would really work for me. I knew somebody in the video if they were blood relatives. Only it would really help i. I don't think john is going to be okay this so don't tell john. One thousand seven them john johnson. Even on what's up. But we communicate. Good so i think maybe why i don't think about it and i'll get back to you. How about that. That sounds great okay. Great you're not going to masturbate to these are you. Yes what's of course i am. What changes everything. I mean as the husband. I would be so bad if so it was doing this so bad. Yeah absolutely. He doesn't seem that pissed. He just seems confused. Yeah that's what is there to be confused. I mean yeah like why do it. I feel like okay. But how does he approach it. Because she's asking us. How does he approach going up to his wife and go. Hey what's up at and how'd you why. Why did you do this. I think he can say exactly what he wrote in like. Hey i noticed that it copied photos over in a y. You know like what's going on. And just let her talk and see what she says. Turn the floor over to her. She's got the explaining to do. That's true he's sitting on moral highground right now. yeah. I don't know i think she's equally into this fetish too. That's my success. He's gotta be. She liked it too much. She sent to many She sent more than one. There's like a secrecy that she's hiding it but she's probably getting off onto yeah Yep yep yup yep oh just. The idea of seeing sibling is what horrible. Yeah my sister who thinks it's to gross me out so she'll start a sex story about just to see me. Go shut cleese. Stop talking and then show do it until i leave room at each time. I feel like i get a little too personal lot. Our podcasts 'cause by brother listen time-to-time like i had to shut it off. I'm sorry you the line that's not even seeing this just hearing. Oh looks like. I know by brother and his wife had a baby but i just don't want to think about. It's a stork store credit. Yes absolutely Well that was a disgusting early grossed out for the rest of the day. Thank you very much we all. We all learned a lot. I feel you feel good. Feel good. I mean we've done some fetish episodes at our podcast but none of come close to this. I feel like we did a diaper fetish. Stolen come close. Yeah yeah yeah. Speaking of your show working people check out dateable. Yeah i mean pretty much all the podcasts players apple spotify you name it or just go to dateable podcasts. Dot com and check out. If you haven't already check out the the we did with you a shoe you wanna get a hold of our show at dt bff podcast. Gino dot com. Go to dt bff podcast on instagram. You can support the show. Patriot dot com slash. Dtp f f hit by red bubble for all of our dt bff merch and you can also get always be blocking pillows sweatshirts. All kinds of stuff notebooks to write down the fuckers and the bullshit that you might be taking any can call in the show.

01:05:01 - 01:07:17

What does that phone number pat. That number is three two three three seven nine five five four four say bullshit from fuckers buckum pay there. You liked the show. You can find episodes and more at our patriotic at patriotic dot com slash bt. Beat podcast and then read the show five stars on i tunes because it's the right thing to do all music by the rating monarchs produced by patrick. Kelly dateable podcast is part of the frolic podcast network. Five more podcasts. You'll love at frolic dot media slash podcasts. Want to continue the conversation. I follow us on instagram facebook and twitter with the handle at dateable podcast tag as an any post with the hashtag. Stay dateable and trust. We look at all those posts then head over to our website dateable podcasts dot com there. You'll find all the episodes as well. As articles videos and our coaching service with vetted industry experts you can also find our premium y series where we dissect analyze and offer solutions to some of the most common dating conundrums also downloadable for free on spotify apple podcast. Google play overcast. Stitcher radio and other podcasts. Platforms your feedback is valuable to us. So don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to stay dateable. Keep up with team. Usa with gig speeds over wi fi from xfinity. Can your internet do that. Restrictions apply not available in all areas requires gig internet and compatible gateway gig speed wifi sharable across all devices actual speech very inter- not guaranteed xfinity proud partner of team. Usa clorox knows you want your clothes smelling fresh and clean but what happens. That's why we created clocks fabric sanitizers to freshen up your clothes between washes pre-trade extra stinky laundry and make sure every last odor comes out. In the wash clorox fabric sanitizers take care of all that and eliminate ninety nine percent of odor causing bacteria plus their bleach and see for all colors and fabrics. When accounts trust clorox.

Dateable Podcast
Yue Xu & Julie Krafchick

Is monogamy dead? Are we expecting too much of Tinder? Do Millennials even want to find love? Get all the answers and more with Dateable, an insider’s look into modern dating that the HuffPost calls one of the ‘Top 10 podcasts about love and sex’. Listen in as Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick talk with real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes, and first moves to first loves. Whether you’re looking to DTR or DTF, you’ll have moments of “OMG-that-also-happened-to-me” to “I-never-thought-of-it-that-way-before.” Tune in every Wednesday to challenge the way you date in this crazy Dateable world.