BONUS: The State Of Dating In 2020

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The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world. Hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable a show all about modern dating bonus bonus bonus. Loan is episode for the two year. I can't believe it's twenty twenty. I can't either. It feels like futuristic. Doesn't it really feel like all those movies. Were about twenty twenty earlier. We are aliens or sister. Come down and take over and we have flying cars and I don't see any of that Shit. There's nothing of that sort except we have more dating into I. I think for this bonus episode. We've been talking about this topic for a while. It's like the state of dating right in like what is happening in the dating world right now. Now I feel like by doing this podcast. Julian I have a really good sense of what's been happening and what's what people are doing to make dating better so here. We are talking about the state of dating going into the New Year. And also we're GONNA make some future prediction psychic. So we did this. We'll be airing this episode of the season but we. You had a really great interview with Tommy. Danger Kim. The Charlie airmen's injure middle name legally. I just thought off. I was like his State now as the name so as Fran we met up with him in New York and we did a really great interview. Him It's like two hours long. We'll be condensing some of it for our upcoming season. It's on his podcast now. Though he asked US question at the end they thought was like so dead on. Brilliant like you you know like what is the state of politics like state of the union all of that like what is the state of dating and he really got us to think about everything. We've learned like you just said and it was a fantastic question because we were like Whoa. We've never been asked that. Yeah so here we are because we talk about this all the time. But we're GONNA make it more organized. Like shawls official official address. Here's our those stadium is so athlete. I'm into the New Year Julie. The I think the state of dating really is about reclaiming the old ways of daily life. I think in the last two or three years. We saw this dating fatigue with online dating. Everyone's like I want to get the APPS that from guests. I want to get off the APPS dating hiatus so I think coming into the new year. Everyone's everyone's thinking about how do I date. Irl and how do I date better not waste. My time. Appeals like people are a little more intentional about not going on like every last like win Linda APPs with swiping and such started it was like a game and people were like. How many matches can I get? How many can I go on? And now it's like one doc. frigging time the money like there's a lot of different things like dating is expensive especially in the major cities like New York l.. A. Like anywhere. Actually actually it's not just there so I think like people are just a lot more intentional. Like who they bring into their lives and not just money all that like their own personal time absolutely Lee and I think for a lot of people looking at their dating APPs gives them so much anxiety They're looking at all the messages. They haven't responded back to their looking all the matches. They haven't reach out to give some so much anxiety that I predict. I know. We're saving the predictions. But I think going along with this state right now. Is that the future is. We're GONNA have the inbox zero mentality where people want to clear their dating. Inboxes they just want to make sure. They're reaching out to everyone that they match with and they're able to get them off flying. Have you ever seen those memes. Yes with certain person. That's like inbox zero as the person. That's like a zillion which is totally me. I'm like me in bugs zero but like I feel we can we for myself in the last six months. I've been like heavily using APPS and who it's been a lot more manageable like I definitely have met a lot of people I think like on average. I probably go on like one day two week. Maybe two and I feel like it's not super overwhelming but it's like got into a place that's good that you can still like philly pipeline pipeline with new people and like been constantly meeting. I've been doing a lot more discernment before actually meeting up in. That's not just looks like if you match US baseline looks it but like it's really the conversation that happens Sherman like little things too like. Oh you're not asking me a lot of questions about myself like things like that. But I'm like is this person personal curious person. Are they someone that wants to really get to know someone else. What's so funny about? That is back in the day when online dating for started their selling point point was.

00:05:00 - 00:10:20

Don't put all your eggs in one right like diversify your portfolio. Because then you'll get the most return out of it now. I think people are thinking I need to spend more time it on the people I match with if they go through these initial filters because that's the only way I can get to know someone is that I think the future of dating is that we are going going to be more mindful when it comes and be more selective in who we meet in real life. I remember like having the mentality of like. Oh you just don't know until you meet some Wenjun Wenjun. There's definitely still true to that. Like you'll never know one hundred percent in real life but I think like how I've changed personally and I've definitely seen this with other people to it's like I want to feel excited about the date. I want to like get to know you. I WanNa put you in my phone as a person not just like as a random number. Burn till I meet you and I talked tinder. Just in general people have expressed that they're just getting less messages and matches than historically and I think that's actually maybe for the best because then you can actually like try to get to know someone get excited about. Dates is that was something that people said was missing is just very much like I'll just show up in like I remember. We had like one of our past guests from like season to Mika. Don't know if you remember that will on core how she would just like integrate people into like going grocery shopping. Unlike doing all the stuff that was Aaron Yen. It's like because you are trying to pack in all those deeds lifelike. Nowadays people are a lot more like okay. I'm going to have like this one date that I go to do. You give that person a shot so there we go another prediction for twenty twenty quality over quantity he used to be about how many matches I can get how many days I can go on in a week now. That's no longer a way to brag about dating like nobody cares. How many matches anymore? It's not impressive. But it's more impressive that you go on a second day third day of workday. It's more about the death of as opposed to how many matches you know. What else is interesting? There's a lot of light Benishi sites coming out the dog lovers. where's Dave Dave on one of our past guests? YEA like some other ones to like just a wide range of them. And I think they're actually could be a shift more to that than like the mass quantities even like for example hinge. I feel like is definitely a little more fine tuned to people that are looking for relationships initially in the sense of like a specific characteristic. But it's not like mass quantities. Swiping apps like tinder and like bumble. Become well that what is what okay. Cupid came out with years ago. There were so ahead of their time when they did the research and reports saying the people who had the best matches were the ones who had had a niche interest. Yup like the loss people who liked snakes they got the most matches and the best match rate because they were able to find each other but but like the very unattractive people actually got the least amount of matches because people would think well this person's to attractive they probably match with everyone swipe or they don't want match with them right. So Niche is the way to go. Yeah but then. Don't you think that feeds into what is your interest now. Everyone's going to have to think about that is it can't just be like travel. pull out food and what would be yours. Oh God oh God okay. Ah Christian singles actionable. I don't know maybe it's like podcasters. That's interesting fellow podcasts. Or creative people. I would like content creator. I would like to meet like people have a crate of interest. It doesn't have to be that disaster same thing would jersey. I mean dogs is one so dig was they were really smart about bat but what about like first time dog owners. Yeah I I had a little white dog that you're the only one on the Sir Great. This is wonderful. I really think that is going to take off in two thousand twenty for anybody starting new APPs or dating services. The more niche the better. Yeah it'll be interesting. I think what's definitely been a trend of twenty nineteen and going into twenty twenty. Is Anything fucking girl. Oh my God and I think like before four. You would assume that like anyone on dating. APP is looking for a relationship that would lead to marriage leads the children and that is like anything but the case anymore like I I feel like I don't know it's all over the map like we've talked to a lot of poly-amorous income wouldn't touch triads we've talked to Unicorns like we not doing a whole gamut but even if you're more on leaning towards the traditional spare just because you maybe one day want marriage does it mean that that's want right now. People are so like focused on themselves and getting their own house in order. It feels like there's a lot of that and I think some of it comes back to you like economic conditions which allowed to find out which is super interesting like people being like head on have enough money to go on dates. I wanted to make sure I'm self sufficient before I like like partner with someone else like there's a lot of those dynamics happening which is very fascinating because you definitely don't think about that when you think of dating trends and I wish people within that even if you have the means to go on a date every day you should budget out dating life for the month Jim yourself some sort of budget five hundred bucks and therefore so.

00:10:20 - 00:15:00

You'll be more selective on who you take on new budget out but I think what the point you're making is almost like I think about. It's a little bit contradictory to the other trend. We were talking about out. which is people are being more mindful spending more time with one person and now we're saying they're going to be more open other types so I think we're we can marry Mary? The two is that people are going to be more open to different types. They're just going to spend more time trying to figure out what they like that type or not right. So it's almost like dating like a scientist like Logan's episode. Who Like my thesis is? I may like this type that I've never tried before. And let's let's give it a world a month. I know that is definitely some some feedback of challenges. Though that it's like it's already so hard to find someone that Kinda like matches youth on so many levels and then you're entering a world where someone might be poly-amorous. You're very much monogamous. Let's say tried it out or is that just through values like you really. Don't fundamentally believe in it. Yeah it's definitely definitely a challenge that we're kind of dealing with that definitely didn't happen in past generations of being like so like are you married. It's okay you've you know but then also like I don't want to be involved with that. Yes that's not what I'm looking for. It's just a lot of filtering that needs to happen. These were so black and white back in my God. Gov Ring on your finger. You're off the market. And that's all I needed to now the case now at night do you ever in your finger. Oh is on that finger announce what's on this the other finger. Is that the ring that it's from your marriage that's from your primary partner like it's like you were saying anything goes is not so black doc in white so we have to ask more questions nowadays totally. I think like we've talked to a lot of guests on the show and it's tough because I know I've been here too. It's like you want to at the beginning. You don't WanNa waste your time necessarily and it's sometimes hard though for people to grasp what it is they really want. Yeah 'cause I think because because there's so many options people are just trying to understand themselves. We've seen people or maybe it's the trend too of like coming like zigzagging going full circle for sure we we see people that are like fuck man. I'm going to become a lesbian to like. Actually I realize that our for me so and that's fine like I think. Sometimes you just have to go through that cycle to learn but it's hard for the people along the way you know what I mean like the people that you wrote. Yes I come. Because they're part of the experiment and but it's all based on what your intentions are if you have the best of intentions that is okay. You get your attention to like cross people off a list. That's that's terrible but I think the other trend though because of this anything goes mentality is just to stay open because even if you're monogamous with someone they may change is there mind until like sexual king that they were never into when he got together who may have fluid sexuality like you don't really know in no one knows in it's like it's not bad intentions like someone pulling one over you. It's them figuring themselves out also foreshadowed to one of our upcoming episodes coming out in a marriage so yes. That's you never know what could happen. It's true you're gonna be with some for a long time. They'RE GONNA change. You're going to change and it's okay to evolve together but you can't get stuck in the path. I can't wait for that episode that I think the one thing that I can say I started thinking without an goal in mind. That's what I was open too. 'cause unlike my dating profile back in the day was always like looking for this and goal really is to find someone that you jive with and Riley each other's time right. I don't don't think about like you must be on this time. Line to be with me. The part that's tricky is like like because we're getting to an age where like children are definitely in the cards and I think for me like I'm unsure myself so when someone tells me that they're either unsure or they don't want kids then. It's not something that I'm like. Oh it's a deal. The old breaker I found myself dealing with this year was in a relationship. A guy was with did not want kids in a kind of like actually closed the door and I found on myself kind of not wanting to close the door like wanting something a little more open to wear life Mike. Oh that's where my current view is. I'm not like I need to have kids. It's tomorrow but I don't want someone that Closes the door either. Whatever you met someone who said must have kit? ooh Yeah tough because of trying not to let it closed doors but it's also like if they are like dying. I'm unsure then I wouldn't necessarily WanNa go there either. Isn't that interesting. That leggy would have almost the same response.

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You just basically want someone to be open to it. Yeah but not like I have absolutely hag that which is another good point to where things are going doing is like I think like years ago was like so like kind of is a woman like didn't WanNa have kids and I feel like I'm hearing more and more women remain urges like I like my lifestyle. I'm just not sure not sure in. I've also on the flip side of had a lot of friends we've heard from people all to that. We're not sure they hide kids and they felt like this was what they were meant to do. So I think sometimes it goes batch like you just don't know until you know and like life changes all the time like you might not be in the place to have kids but I guess to the flip side is like maybe if I met that guy that really wanted to have kids we spell hardcore in law and then maybe I could envision myself with it or yeah plus I think it goes back into the open mentality. I met a guy who who was in a marriage for seven years where both of them married each other because they didn't want kids and then at the seventh year mark. She said she wanted and that's when they got a divorce. So you don't get establish in the beginning but you still have no control in cruiser exactly and people just change shape change and you will change too. Yeah and I think that's like a good tie. Hi into this whole life to shift what people are looking for. And it's like I don't know I've just experienced like people I would have never thought a thousand years that were like into poly-amorous just lifestyle and like into a friend of mine. He was married for twenty years. And you still married and I think what it taught me was like right now I might be looking for something Langmore monogamist but I haven't been married to select for twenty years right today. In twenty years I'll have a totally different view in that like maybe the trend here is just having this like always always learning always open mindset even if you are married. Yeah a bottling open to evolving yes as a couple. What about gender under roles? Let's take a break from this episode and focus on what the New Year brings this time to think about your priorities so mass suggests putting your mental health at the top of list. Better help us a service. I used to connect with a professional counselor on a regular basis to do a mental health. Check in sometimes we talk about pretty deep stuff other times. I just like updating someone on what's going on in my life I am so grateful I found better help where I can get online counseling with professional credible and compassionate therapists in a safe in private online environment with over three thousand. US licensed professionals across fifty states. You're sure to find the right one for you. And at a very affordable price now for dateable dateable listeners. Only you get ten percent off your first month with a code. dateable guest started today by going to better help dot com slash dateable to simply fill out a questionnaire to assess your needs. And then you'll be matched with counselor again. That's better help dot com slash dateable and use the Code Dat AB L. E. for ten percent off your first first month now back to the show. What about gender roles? What's the state of gender roles at the end of twenty nine hundred? Pick me to really came flight. What was it twenty seventeen twenty eighteen and then I think what we experienced twenty nineteen a fallout? Of course like there are some men that contributed to me to Harvey Harvey Weinstein. No one is going to debate like he did something. That was good right. That is across the board like the real sexual harassment. Claims are sexual assault all of that lake. That's no joke. I think what came out of that which might have been a negative consequence is people got very sensitive to everything and I'm not again not saying people that actually experience these types of situations like I'm glad to came to be and I'm glad that people had archie to the voice but I think what we're seeing now it's Kinda like the downside of it is like for example the workplace used to be a great way to a partner and a lot of shared interests. You had similar upbringings. Different light similar socioeconomic background like a lot of stuff and now people will not touch workplace romance with like a ten foot pole NA reported to. Hr Right the stakes are way too freaky high now and I think it's a little unfortunate that like it's gotten to that level. We hear men saying that they don't go in for the cast. They don't want to like take control in any way. Because of consent culture again not faking set cultures badly that is great. Great for all those situations that need it but it's almost like I would go on a limb to say the women that are for consent culture also do want someone that will take control. It's not in a way that's going to hurt them right. And do you feel like I almost feel like there's a little shaming of people who aren't pro-women in certain circumstances like Elisa Elisa sure singers latest comedy special right where she's kind of like if you root for the one woman in the room. Apparently you're a bad person right. Even if that woman may not be the best person for the position or the best person you still have root for women because women.

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So I think what's going to happen in twenty twenty is at men and are GonNa have to speak up. They're going to have to define masculinity is GONNA have to tell us what masculinity is what manhood is about and I see this trend already already where some of my guy friends going to all men's retreat silk going to almonds gatherings are Larry dislike boys night all the time like meeting of the minds with just men. I think men need to get together and come together as a whole and say this is how we want to reclaim masculinity and respect from everybody any else and I feel like we've definitely have started that twenty nine team. We have like a few really strong male voices like we had Mark Green. The good men project spent things like on a whole panel by Peres. Inventory bows and there was a lot of like really you likes strong willed men on there talking about the future masculinity in how for so long Longman had to fall into this one alpha stereotype in then. That also leads to a lot of shame if you don't fall into that yeah and I think what they're trying to do and I think this sounds great is me. Click the many ways of being a man assessable for men today and what it needs to be a man exactly cool any other trends that we we saw in twenty nineteen. I mean I think the one thing that also sticks out to me in this kind of goes to economics abid Being ready like we talked to Helen Fisher and like like that we had an episode with her and there is a lot around like slow love. Ask people this. Stage are not trying to rush into anything like they're trying to find the right partner because of the fallout divorce rates and all of that but also they want to make sure that they have their own house in order in. That doesn't necessarily mean just financially actually can be emotionally can be whatever may be and we had also Jennifer Bertram the love gap which was very popular episode for us and she talked about just like how back in the day. There was this mentality of like. If he's not pushing for you now he's just not that into you and she was saying like that is not like millennial we all have all that she was saying that like people will come back when they feel like. It's the right time and just because again obviously don't like bark up the wrong tree if someone's really not interested in the NFL Lake in might if the timing isn't right like it might not be that they aren't interested. It could be more. It's going aw don't you think also because I feel like everyone has what I call a dating cemetery. You all the matches that you miss now the messages you miss that in twenty twenty twenty. Maybe we'll start revisiting these and say I didn't really give a chance. Maybe they could have been a good match awfully by like David. Like I'm not getting league matches that I like or not matches in general like all these people that I just like either passage me and I didn't reply or we just never messaged each other. It's a love it the David Cemetery. That's okay we've also had a few of those guests like that number vowel. Who met her now? Husband on match DOT COM. They never ended up meeting till they ran into each other at a concert. It's all about timing with a lot of these dating APP too so I do think people will start visiting the eight year friends with benefits about like. It took Juliet Andrew. Some of our past years basically. They went through like friends to super casual committed. Like take things just don't always flow linearly anymore. I think like before it was like if it's not progressing in a straight line and kill them not alad really good now. It's like there's just a lot more zigzags. Yeah that's very true. It's like revisiting. The pipeline is. It's a it's I think it's an officer and for you to rethink like what what it is you were actually looking for. I think the other trend that super interesting is like maybe this kind of goes to what we're we're talking about at the very beginning of people being more intentional of their time I feel like people are not afraid to get into like the deep staff off early. No Taboo topic though like once upon a time it was like. Don't ever talk about religion to advertise about politics. Ever talk about your acts and I've definitely found myself on Tapley talking about past relationships like viewpoints and like. I think those are the best dates when you're just doing like the data review in like having the date talk that that doesn't tell you anything about this person like it's easy to forget them. Yeah and then you can just crush it and think you had a really good conversation except you just had the same conversation. They had act like a thousand other people so Italy. It's okay to get deep real fast. I think another prediction I would have is you. You read all these reports about millennials else and Jen's ears who don't want to own anything they don't want to know houses they don't want happens actions of anything. I think that could apply dating as well more like possession of the people so then we're getting rid of labels I twenty twenty s early for that but I think we're going to start to see people saying like no longer using boyfriend girlfriend July.

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Hi to then. It's more like my partner my partner partner partner a coworker of mine. whose nephew is like four or five? He's already like like this. He's like me my friend. WHO's a girl like? My friend was a girl but he's like quote unquote dating all of them. He's four. He's four yeah he is. He's a MAC daddy but he possesses them because he shares them with everybody else chew. I think we are getting to a point where it's like no longer you belong to meet. I belong talk to you. I think we're going to start seeing people not changing their names after marriage. Oh yeah and it's just an open forum for you to just like connect with people. Yeah I think that's that's a really good point about the no labels also because that also applies to gender identity like we're seeing that like in kindergarten in young ages. People are not identifying identifying by the sex no more pronouns right. If it's like I think the future is pan sexual like just basically looking at someone as a person not the having like gender gender identity or sex be part of the equation and that could be a tagline for two thousand twenty the future Pan Sexual interest female. Listen dateable at the Shaw. You walk into a party and anything. I don't know it might not be twenty twenty but I feel like it's happening. I think it's definitely happening. I Agree I think two thousand twenty and we'll see the star. I feel like the more I've met so many men recently. That are definitely more on like the pan yet sided in. I don't know if it's because it's just becoming more acceptable or like get back to this there. There isn't just one way to be a man who or maybe they're just coming from more liberal background. I don't know what it is but I know I've seen it a bit more. We've talked to a lot more people at the identify by that way. So I think it's coming I think so too and the other predictions for twenty twenty about dating APPs. VR was all technology. Ajay died yeah technology like VR APPS was supposed to be the next wave. You weren't supposed to meet in real lot lake. That was supposed to be the first day in that. Totally elite bomb. Which I'm glad about this thing is a haven't even gotten to a place where we can make video apps means how can we make? VR mainstream stream. I think maybe twenty twenty is a year for video. I don't know something where you get to chat face to face before meeting. Ira Ralph so I haven't done this yet. But apparently on the league they do like a video chat like speed dating tool. But apparently if you don't like Tho- on after like two seconds you could just tax them so MTV allies. Like I was talking talking to someone that did it and he was like. Yeah all of a sudden being God and he'll love like 'cause you limited time with each person you're not feeling your dislike move on I gotta get the route takes rejection to a whole new level. I rather to someone not swipe on me. Then she'll like literally brush my face away like X.. On that face it's like actually real life swiping real never solve apply. That is really sad. I don't think I have one apple soda. I think it was Logan. Logan actually a science of dating member. We talked about how people don't see who doesn't swipe on them. They have an inflated ego. Yeah that was real everyone. That's Swiping left on you. God and then you just go to your room in high level the playing field site feeling my personal opinion of one of the challenges of dating dating apps that everyone they want slightly better than what they're bringing to the tape perpetual cycle because everyone's wins trying to like leg up slightly. I think it's because they see all these options in maybe some of them will swipe on them. That's like an extra boost of confidence. But you they don't they feel like they're they're smiling at them with me up. Maybe this will bring back down to reality okay so okay. So we're title like how dating APPS can really mimic real life dating right. Currently you just see everyone as our individual profile. Swipe through them you see the next one. What Jeff in two thousand twenty dating apps are putting people in groups? Hey let's pause from this episode for our sponsor Lola. A female founded Feminine Care Brand Offering High Quality period and sexual wellness products all made with natural ingredients lowest. TAMPONS PADS liners and cleansing wipes are all made with one hundred percent organic cotton. No toxins accents dies or synthetic fibers. I presently love that. Lola makes it easier than ever to tailor my subscription to perfectly fit my needs. I can choose from an assortment of lowest gynecologist. The college is approved period products.

00:30:01 - 00:35:09

That are hypoallergenic. And I have the freedom to select my delivery frequency such as choosing between. Let's say every four weeks to every eight weeks it's also super crazy to modify my order. Skip a month or cancel. My subscription at anytime guest started with a trial set. You have to Kinda choose from with each one featuring a mixed assortment appeared it products for just five dollars and just being dateable listener you can get thirty percent off your five dollar trial set today. visit my Lola Dot Com and enter the Code D. A. T. HE EP L. E. Thirty to redeem your offer again. That's thirty percent off a five dollar trial set with a code dateable thirty by visiting MY LOLA DOT com. Now let's get back to the show. What if in twenty twenty dating APPs are putting people in groups like you see five people together five profiles else together and then you have to pick one done that? I think tinder ginger has something like that. Like you'll give you an opportunity superbike and they'll put a bunch of them together either all. I've seen that okay so I've seen that but what if it's just like randomize five people on video you're walking into a bar that'd be cool so you're just like you're not just interested directed one person everyone's interacting and you can check out how people vibe with each with each other and then you have to make a choice and it's like the bachelor. The data is the bachelor. Do People need contacts any need to compare. Yeah just choosing. Just sometimes I look at one profile. I cannot make a decision because I have no idea but relative to other people in the room I got. Could I love this concept of video because it shows like the way your mannerisms the way you engaged and he laughed but there's something about video right now. That's so fucking awkward. Hawk debtor any Winston look weird like even when in real life on an actual select. I don't know the solution because we didn't probably be billionaires but lake high. Towd you get to a point where you're capturing someone video but it's in a way that doesn't feel fuel so force Julie. I think sometimes I do think you and I may be older for for what's about to come because a lot of my younger friends is in there like early twenties only facetime. They don't even call each other anymore. They're more used to seeing each other on video. In whatever fucked up angle it may be. I think it's just yeah. Maybe a generation needs about video. But there's also selling about-face timing laker friends and family versus like no. Because even think like we're old school will do phone calls like yeah. Even that's tough like I like it. Foundationally well yeah I get it but it's out for awkward this in Super League. I agree I don't know if someone can crack the code on that they be billionaires. Probably Not GonNa be VR though Yar and we're just not there yet. Ah So glad that would have been so sad if we all became avatars or maybe be happy lonely people. Can you imagine if we're in our rooms sitting with those goggles on like it'd be so depressing watch black mirror basically what that is so. I'm glad that trend died. I'm yeah well we'll see. Maybe maybe this year old pick back up. Who knows but I think in twenty twenty people will try to find technology that works in their favor for deigning as opposed to in the past? This is just gathering matches likes with instrument hiding likes now. I also think there's a numbers game dying cares about that anymore but if you can crack this mystery of like how do we get people to do more mindful dating online than that would be the APP that people will go to. Yeah what else is there because I feel like Gen Z.. Is like there's a lot of interesting trends there. Yeah and I'm wondering if those will seep into millennials at all ooh Jen's ears they are. They are fascinating. They're not having sex sake. Believe in love they believe courtship. They're basically our grandparents just reimburse handbook people. They like to stay home. They believe in spending time with her family and friends. They're very old fashioned in some ways. which just fantastic yet? They've all grown up screens. I don't think anybody has jen's ears are the ones the first generation to be born into like the Internet that that is not fat as a trend served as babies to they were the ones that were put in front of ipads. Yeah I feel like I'm like our friends with kids are not doing that consciously living but before it wasn't like seen as a bad thing it was also new. Yeah so they we really have been with like flipping. -nology yeah so it's toes reverse of us. 'cause we grew up with only faces and no sweet so windscreens came into our lives. It was fascinating for us. So many will be the opposite for them. I kinda see that the way they're talking like we have another spoiler alert. We have JEN's ear talking to doing think there was a big push to not be on the phones and yeah you online dating as much meat in real life more to all of that traditional aspects.

00:35:09 - 00:40:06

I think for JEN's ears. They're like cool. They're not instagram. They're already not on facebook and instagram account. And you're so cool. Ah Maybe the future is only dogs. Have instagram accounts. I love that okay. So also along the lines of technology orangey. I do think there'll be more APPs and devices that aren't dating focus that will use for dating like sample people have used in Ceram for dating although it's not a dating thing snapchat while so maybe there's an APP that's like for cooking will start meeting on there. I mean facebook is also so like I mean. They've explicitly done dating. Obviously not a platform that's traditionally dino and I think it's really fascinating. The verdict is out right now. It feels very very much like a tender bumble her anything about one of the things it feels so people aren't engaging like I'll get matches but they don't really talk or I don't feel compelled to talk to them like I don't know what it is because mixed in with everything else on facebook. I'm not exactly sure but I think we're they're going that I actually really think is much more valuable of making Crockett. And they've started to do it. I'm just not seeing enough. Matches is showing people that go to the same events that you do. Oh and in groups as you and all of that obviously face because the mass quantities of people which is helping can niche it down down that way chilly similar interests and using data that way and like combine that with like aspects of like where they live and types of qualities. That you're looking for Orla you have. I think there's definitely something interesting there. What if facebook can facilitate you through a relationship so for example right now dating apps it's only take you through the beginning of a relationship they'll find you and then they drop you into the black hole you like? What do I do now? One of those. An APP like facebook could totally do this where they're kind of like OK. He gets matched. Did you go on a date with when you talk about your date writing me back like facility. A- hinge asked for that now okay. They don't do it in a way. That's going to like help facilitate the relationship. It's more just speak to give future people to you like different matches to ask if you met. Okay if you like the Amazon model did you receive the product and positive they ask if you like them or not but I think they say like is this a type of person you'd WanNa on a Scott. Okay it's definitely the Amazon model. It's not shepherding you through the process. Also it'll be cool if it could tell that you guys have gone on a few dates and yeah date ideas and I'll say maybe the next step is this and kind of push you along or give you events give you yes gambling plans to go to you. And then they do like the one year review. Maybe your pictures will come up. So then you start. Their diversity keeps of giving me pictures of my ex boyfriends like oh five years ago we need to at their algorithms do. I've definitely had that before. It's like remember to invite this person the venom I know I purposely left them. Yeah this person I do not want in my life. Thank you very much. And they're being the same things double but the whole shepherding idea sailing. I broke up with this person and then they don't show me on facebook. The idea they just get rid of them. They'll follow them for you. You have to do it yourself great. That's fantastic were they. Hide their stories from you right on purpose. That's fantastic. I will love something like that. It just like take care of all that for me to think about it. If it's almost like I dunno dollars. This is like a huge Julie. This huge. This is huge every other APP drops you off at the drop off zone. You've matched now. It's what do you do. What do you do from here? Precipitates some conversation between us. I think the other thing if someone could crack this'll so be awesome like all the personalities tasks all of letting the different things that are out there like Logan brought this up on her episodes. We have the presets. We have right now on APPs of height and where you draw occupation all the data they have they don't know if you're like a funny person or like extroverted or introverted like ub amazing if there was a way to somehow get equality that actually really freaking matter like. How do we know that before you meet them seriously? How would you know that? Yeah yeah if they can integrate all of that. You have to take all these quizzes. Well I guess an e harmony he kind of did that and a bunch of questions. Yeah there's a way to integrate that and like like curate for you. Yeah that'd be make more sense. I like that cool. I think we Are Going to be billionaires twenty another trend that we have going and for us so you guys are welcome for you know us telling you over idea now.

00:40:06 - 00:42:29

So decides to execute Julie Resold She is always the hardest part sign. Give us credit finders fee. I think that wraps up think it's going to happen. Twenty twenty we were on on it guys out there finding out what's really happening. We're asking these questions to daters who are doing. They're like on it and Julie's he's also on it so we're at the on the pulse. Is that what it is. We're on the run the whole city on the pulse of day. We're not at the pulse work on it or on the pulse of dating and we. I can't wait to report back even more job. y'All so if people have their own ideas let us in. Because I'm sure we do not hit it all even even though we was pretty good at conversation real boss Yeah List but yeah people have ideas especially the future we want to hear from you and then you'll win a prize if it does come come true December of twenty twenty and if you're enjoying dateable the one thing that'd be amazing about ooh hello friend. I know they meet all these predictions about twenty twenty. They're gonNA come through yeah. This is a good episode to share together. Then yeah well guys we love when you support us and we love it when you support us with the people in your lives too. So share comment engaged with us. Also just rate us on apple podcasts. Yeah me helpful. That'd be super helpful. That so cool. That's enough asks for one episode in the next one happy new year. Everyone and I can't wait eight to kick off season ten nowhere to wrap this up. Stay dateable want to continue the conversation. I follow us on Instagram facebook and twitter with with the handle at dateable. PODCAST TAG US in any post with the Hashtag stay dateable entrust us. We look at all those posts then head over to our website dateable PODCASTS DOT dot com. There you'll find all the episodes as well as articles videos and our coaching service with vetted industry experts you can also find our premium y series where we dissect aft analyze an offer solutions to some of the most common dating conundrums Roseau downloadable. For free on spotify apple podcast Google play overcast stitcher radio and other podcasts platforms. Your feedback is valuable to us. So don't forget to leave us a review and most importantly remember to stay dateable.