We talk about what happens when you are married to your job, the sacrifices you make to run a startup, and how this plays into your dating life.
Josh talks about dating as a CEO of a successful startup and how it's not all unicorns and rainbows. We talk about what happens when you are married to your job, the sacrifices you make to run a startup, and how this plays into your dating life.
S3E6 Dating the CEO of a Startup
00:00:00 - 00:05:06
The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world.
And i move so i loves. We are excited. You've join us for an older episode. While our earlier seasons were all about dating in san francisco we quickly realize all the themes. Learnings are universal for all daters so we shifted to covering dating from all around the world as the seasons. Progress to the fun part. Is things happen. I san francisco the tech epicenter and counterculture capital of the world. We love for you to keep tuning in to our older episodes. But there's no set order to listen in so feel free to jump to more. Recent seasons are relevant episodes for you. Enjoy the show. The dateable podcast is hosted by me. I'm you a a former dating coach. In new york turned active data in san francisco on each episode. you'll hear commentary by my co host. Michael vargas fellow dating coach with a clinical psychology background. My producer julie craft chick and other surprise co co-hosts. Thank you to all of you. Who came to our party on friday. September thirtieth it was quite the epic night in case you missed it. We will be posting a video of the event on our facebook page. Here's some stats for you. We had over two hundred and fifty people in attendance. Our sponsor lively gave out well over two hundred drinks. Thanks lively one. Hundred and forty condoms distributed. Thanks to our friends. At lea- low heck's to winning couples successfully made out behind the curtain and only one injury and that was just me so that's ok. We can't wait to see you guys again. At our next event this episode of dateable is brought to you by five hundred brunches. Five hundred inches connects like minded people with similar interests to meet in real life. Brunch answer a questionnaire about your interest and how you spend your time and then they'll match you in small groups of six to eight at a brunch spot in san francisco get a free entry into a brench now by signing up at five hundred branches dot com and using the code date able on this episode. We interviewed josh rasmussen. The ceo of a company at the time of recording was called bolt motorbikes. Their name has since changed to monday. Motorbikes hey everyone welcome to another episode of dateable a show that opens up a candid conversation about dating in san francisco. Michael vargas michael. How are you. i'm feeling good. I just had some boba tea with macadamia nut milk. It was really good. That sounds sort of gross. Not don't be jealous. I am not judging being jealous. I'm just stating facts. So today i have a special friend with me. Josh is here with me today. And i want to give a little bio about who he is because it's important to Why we're speaking to them today. So joshua's born and raised in nebraska and moved around the us until landing in san francisco over eight years ago today. Josh's co founder and ceo of electric bike company motorbikes named gq magazine's best stuff of the year and the quote unquote tesla of electric motorbikes. He's an avid motorcycle rider. Krav maga enthusiasts and genuine man bring the future of urban transport to market. So i feel like we're in that last seen a braveheart and i'm like no we do. That's what we do. So i think the thing is i. We wanna get to know you how you came to where you are today. But most importantly what it's like to date as a ceo of a company that is up and coming rising star. You're obviously very to your job. You know. I don't even have to ask you about that. So let's park that for now. First of all tell us how you got to where you are today. Wilson interesting journey. I started in omaha nebraska. Like you actually said so. Thank you very much for the bio. Yeah exactly. I kinda wanted to put blue paint on him and go out So sorta omaha. Nebraska traveled to cities like dallas atlanta fort worth and then all the way to san francisco and was really interesting journey because it i found myself actually living of my car for months after the car industry claps. That was my background. I was in the car industry. And after eight years of living in san francisco. I realized that there was an entrepreneurial. Spirit in me was a regional director of sales and ultimately started my first company which is still running today and company.
00:05:06 - 00:10:00
It was a company called zip. Kick still today. Zip kick dot com really cool site. And now i'm moved to motorbikes and found a real true passion because one of a motorcycle rider too. I love connecting people and three. It's kind of contagious energy. That i have where. I can bring people in a room. Get them really excited. And then god dispersed and conquer the world. So it's really fun. You have one of those personalities. I just wanna tell michael. Julian listeners. At home so josh was introduced to me by a mutual friend in new york. And she's like you have to meet the sky josh. He's wonderful and the first time we met. I think we spoke on the phone. And josh is just had this charisma and such a sales vibe about him that i was very suspicious. I was like one. What does this guy want and to. What is he really like. But getting to know you more. And more now i find that you're one of the most genuine people i've ever met and yet you live you work in this industry that is penetrated by people who are not so genuine. So i feel like you are the anomaly to what industry represents okay so i want to focus on your dating life all right. You too do a random. Google search and there's a poem online called date the ceo of a startup. Okay and i wanna read part of this this poem to you and i want you to respond to it okay. Baby girl. The internet's plagued with advice whom to date data reader data writer data traveler. They've said i'm here to encourage you today. To take the ceo of a startup data man who gave up the nine to five for the twenty four seven data man who works as asked because someone has to data man who when you say lean while think prototype and not cuisine date. Ceo of a startup. The co startup will forget every anniversary will never miss a date if you add it to his google cal. The ceo of a startup will not be writing any poems for you. But office memos we'll see more endearing than ever before the see over startup will not be texting all day long but but well excuse himself from an important meeting if he has to when you call the ceo of a startup will not bring as many flowers as he will bring good news and sometimes bad news to. It's not easy to date the ceo of a startup. A hell of a ride. What do you what do you think. Well we're motorbikes. We make a really affect Electric two wheeler so. It's one hell of a ride no matter what and for me. It kind of is true like you when you're dating anybody That is running a company. It's almost like dating someone with kids right. You realize that you may not be in the number one spot even though that person might want to. There's other people that they are responsible for and it's kind of an interesting juxtaposition as i've continued to grow in this position. As time's gone on that. Sometimes i have to say no. I can't go on a date. Or i can't pick up a call. And if i can't excuse myself i absolutely will for all the people i've dated out there in the past all like four and it's it's one of those things that i realized that every time i'm breaking away sometimes i feel guilty because i know that there's a team of nine and ten people that are sitting back at the labs doing amazing work day in and day out and i come back and i'm like hey guys sorry for so long. You need this man you need to go out and go dates like hanging out with people. But i don't think that way and it's really hard but it's almost like you're in a poly-amorous relationship. Yeah yeah i love them. Though i just i'll do anything for those guys and girls they. They're awesome. Yeah but what is your dating. Life like Well besides nonexistent. And why is it off in the pass was a regional director making a a good amount of dough and my ding life was amazing. Then and my time was really my own is working thirty. Maybe forty hours a week. It was traveling all around the country as regional director of sales for a multimillion dollar corporation based out of dc. And i oversaw thirty percent in the united states as a sales vision and you that sales guy it was for. It was really funny because i would travel a lot. I had tons of point. So i'd go on vacations and never really had to worry about money so a date was kind of just a fun thing to do and i think for a lot of people in san francisco when you have a lot of money.
00:10:00 - 00:15:06
It's just one of those fun things to do rather than actually like maybe moving towards a real relationship just kind of dating around. And i felt my self getting into that rut but after a certain point in time. I said hey. There's something more from me. So i quit that job and started my own company and it was kind of a ride. You like you went on top of the world just doing really well till like figuring out how much robin you get for the week type of thing. Yeah yeah. it's really funny at the same time i would. I would go on dates but as time went on those dates will slow down because every time you go on a date you see money going out the door and not necessarily like whether it works or not because sometimes it does sometimes a dozen and it only takes one. That's the good news for all you dating listeners. Out there at this point you started seeing dating almost like a financial loss. I think it was a mixture right. I wouldn't necessarily call it a financial loss of just call it as a risk and entrepreneurs are are not risk adverse right. They're just they're like. Hey you know what. Risking it all. And i'm gonna quit this amazing job to go. Try something and work twenty four hours a day seven days a week instead of nine to five and it's it's something where if you find someone that's really worth it you'll make the time and up to a certain point in time i guess is really where it counts. If i was in a relationship and moved into the position as the ceo today i probably would be equally devoting time towards the bolt motorbikes genre. And the boyfriend girlfriend genre and instead because it hasn't happened. I've been fully committed to motorbikes building a team and creating this really cool brand when people come out to say like. Hey we should totally go on a date or you should do my friend. It's like i'll. I'll see what i can do right like it's not like i don't want to figure it out. It's just there's time that's involved in these things to just try and figure out if you're actually like that person you have to be more discerning comes to who you go on dates with right a bad thing. It's not a bad thing and sometimes discernment takes time right. You've got us. You've got to take the time. And because i think we've all been on dates where you like. See the person you're like. Wow that person is really good looking. I'm going to get along with them. And then you start talking like oh. When is this going to be over like oh shoot. Got a call from the office you know and with discernment takes time and the problem is ceo or any founder. That's one of the things that you're really lacking and it's this it's this weird tipping point right either. You have as an entrepreneur. Either you have all the time in the world but no money to work on your project or you have no time in all the money in the world of work on your project and it's the juxtaposition that actually ended up working against you and your dating life. What is something that triggers you like. Ooh this person seems interesting. Okay how. I want to get to know more about this person. The number one thing from east personal character. So if i know this person is loyal and principled in their thought process and giving that is very much. Something that is exuberant in that person. Immediately to me. And i one thing i don't really like is if someone starts moving into like money conversations or if they move into like what do you do conversations even on dating sites. I put that i'm a pastor. I'm a reverend Because people are like. Oh hey are you on. I got pictures of be speaking on stage at at multiple events. And they're like. Are you speaking about a sermon. Them like sort of Yeah the book of bolt. And it's gotta fun. But i never wanna think about what you do. I want to think about who you are and so. That's probably one of the first things that i really look for his personal character and again. That's something that takes time to really drive out. People can say carrying not selfish. I'm a very thoughtful person and in reality it's shop thing is that's something you aways folks like. You don't wanna talk about that new because now a ceo that's on. I think it's a mixture. I mean a twenty six year old in doing a job where the rest of my peers were forty old. It was like ask me what my job is right. Because you're kind of hot headed about it your little young so you really kind of hang your hat on that thing But as you grow older you realize there's things that are extremely important and my own personal character and wellbeing as part of that and it was an interesting time of my life. When i chose to quit that job making great money and making no dollars and then after that point in time it was like i i was like.
00:15:06 - 00:20:01
Oh my co-founder really excited to tell everybody about it because you starting this new venture like making zero dollars an hour but you really excited to tell people about your position and then after meaning like all these other people that are like oh yeah. I'm a co founder like i'm a fowler and it's like well you're companies were zero dollars or it's worth a couple hundred million you never know. We're all just under the same title. So after that point in time. I was titles. Don't why do you feel the need to hide your title. I don't think that my title defines me. I think that the things. I do under the role. I'm in will define me and i kind of i don't know maybe sometimes it's fun to romanticize the fact that someone's like hey this person's really nice and caring and cool and then they go. Wow and he's actually doing something really cool as well. That's more icing on the cake versus like let me go. Give the full cake in the icing and then expect to keep raising the bar. I'm saying you try to remove that. First surface layer like this this badge of ceo. At what you try to do is more about our as a person underneath that. Ceo that's where you try to get to the core up. I yeah it's a personal connection right but then so here's the thing. Only dating is very superficial though totally. How'd you get past that first. Step you online dating. Obviously you do. So i totally do. What are you on. Tell us it was an app called ghosting. Because i feel like that's exactly what happens. I mean i me you know my feelings get hurt online. Dating is extremely superficial. And i would rather set the bar like a medium level. Even people come to visit me. I'm like hey you're going to have a mediocre time and they're like all right. I'm still visiting you like all right. Cool and then we'll go do some really fun stuff and we'll blow it out of the water but if it's like oh man. It's going gonna be epic you're gonna love it and then all of a sudden it's like oh sorry party through exactly we'll go to the bay and then it'll be foggy and you'll be you'll see anything and it'll be cold so that's my when you invite me to that party you're like you're not going to have a very good time but i'm just glad to see a startup yet. Another show with the party. You know it was like the most amazing night of my life. It works that's actually. That was sex as well. I'm actually very small so much for sharing this podcast with the team i again. I think i'd probably do. I think we put it all on an even playing field and say let's see where it goes. It's if you set the bar high. You set these really crazy expectations. And i'm all about over delivering on the promises that i put. And it's one of those things that if someone is constantly seeing that you are committing greater things to them than what you initially set out to do. Then i think that shows a little bit level be a little bit higher level of commitment to them as a personal relationship with since he said that you don't date that much you're on online dating apps how do you. What's your process. Liked the one. One i do use is bumble so there you go i last year. I know some of your friends are on bungle to. I've heard all three of my friends just getting so. I kind of like tinder. I kind of didn't like tinder fell like more like one night. Standish sound you're looking for not really one night stands could get to be expensive but that's a whole nother story. Yeah actually. I don't know i feel like they can be especially when you go out. And you're really gunning for it and more expensive than like a process probably. Yeah absolutely. i mean. I don't know but i can. I'm just going to be based on your experience. We're going to be good to go. Do you take equity It's a it's kind of interesting because it felt that way and as as a leader and taking the leadership stuff aside as somebody who's really looking relationship that matters not necessarily something that superficial you tend to stay away from those things and so i started using bumble primarily because the fact that my other co were totally on bumble Yeah everybody's doing it man. So i did that with bumble and slack Converted to the church of slack every on it. I'm like i'm not doing it. And then they're like knicks on it and nate's on it and i'm like So i had to get on it. I also like it because the girl actually gets to put some effort in and in the mid west one of the things that is really big like encoding or whatever.
00:20:01 - 00:25:02
We want to call it. The girl shows interest to and out in the bay area. I think that we we've run into this thing where we've got all these cultures and all these different people groups from all around the world and it's awesome right. It's a really cool experience. You can meet people from istanbul and you can mean people from paris. People omaha nebraska. All the same bar at the thing is like dating from those cultures and bringing it all together kind of causes some communications and some misreads when someone maybe showing affection and that's not how that person for season a faction you could totally miss the mark. That's a really point is a lot of its. We talked about that nature like transient cities. Sometimes you're challenging data and new york here. Let me let me. Just give some advice to people. And before i give advice two things i wanna say the good thing about advices you can take what you want and leave what you don't okay and to always be suspect taking relationship advice from a single person and it's just like so. I think the funny thing is is that in in areas where you really wanna go and and shine make a turn key for that other person right make it easy for them to say yes and that goes for girls who want a day guys and guys who want to date girls and they really just. It's not like hey do you wanna come out some time and hang out and have a drink. Yeah totally that end beauties like okay when where. What are we going drink. Where are we going. It's like an all of a sudden this conversation become diluted so instead if you have it with conviction and purpose and make a turn key to say. Hey i wanna take you out. Would love to go to this restaurant at seven o'clock on thursday or tuesday next week which day works for you. It's shows like hey here's the things we're going to do. It's gonna be fun. You would assume if you're gonna say yes and it's easy to say yes to and as someone who is looking for relationships and all my other friends that ambiguity really kills the opportunity to meet somebody connect. Why do you think so. Many people are so have such ambiguity. I think it's probably mixture of things again back to my to rules on advice. Giving i would say number one. People are really afraid of rejection. No one likes getting know so by keeping it. Ambiguous people can sort of commit to it and even if they don't commit to it it doesn't hurt right if somebody gives you a no it's it can be hard on the ego. You gotta kinda let that go a little bit and in my role in the past. And where i'm at today. You get a lot of nose and people are like it only takes one yes or like it. Takes eight knows to get a yes bucks that rule. It's like listen. It doesn't matter how many knows you're going to get. You need to understand how to handle the no and if you can handle the no it can always turn into a yes right right no forever since no not right now. Fear not out daily advisor candidates sales of. Let's be very clear here. It's the same thing. I'm gonna call you out okay here. We go the first time josh. And i met in person was at this party k. And i brought a very beautiful friend of mine and drink involved in a little bit flirting back and forth by the a ton of flirting and by the end of the night. We're all in the hot tub and my friend is very close to josh. I can sense that. There is a little bit of tension between them over here. Josh saying i want to take you out sometime. And my friend doesn't make it very easy for him because he's very skeptical of guys especially in this environment because everyone was kind of you know like everyone has playboy vibe about them at this party right so my audience is giving everyone a thumbs. Don't call me now. You're being a tattle tale. Michael i had a. I had a great time. I have to add a great time of this party. Who has very skeptical because he just in in this environment. so the tech startup culture co-founder culture in san francisco is exactly the same as directors and screenwriters group of hollywood. Okay when i lived in l. As exact same thing you go to some hot directors house and sit in their hot tub and you talk about that you wanna roll in his next film right and same thing with this with the tech culture here or the startup culture here in san francisco. You sit in some ceos hot tub and you talk about how you have an app coming up or you have this product coming up right. You have this idea that you wanna pitch anyway so. My friend is skeptical. But she is interested. She's obviously interested in josh and she says something along the lines of well you want to see me.
00:25:02 - 00:30:07
You'll find a way right something along the lines of that yeah. I know that there was a kiss exchanged in the hot tub. Want tattling we can cut this part out whatever. Let's keep it in my phone scared of this scared of this love. He's going on his phone. Are you checking the door. I'm gonna. I'm gonna show you something go on. I want you to perfect love this. He said she said so again. The weekend newburgh back and i are going back together. And she's like you know what. I'm sort of into josh. But i don't know his deal. I don't know if he's for real also at this party there. Were like two hot tubs and a bunch of beautiful women. Okay as one would expect. So she's like it's the around this all the time next day. I give josh my friend's phone number. I'm like you guys should connect. she's amazing. you're amazing. And then i guess what happened. Was you texted her at like eleven pm Or sometime around like mid nine. And she's like this doesn't zil right and the next day you text around the same time and so she's like is he going to ask me on a date. I mean this whole thing with ambiguity. I thought josh that you would be like listen. I like you. I want to take you on a date. Let's go out on this day to do this. But from her side she was like he was very ambiguous. He was texting at a time. That one would say would be a bootie. Call amion flattered she feels. It's a bootie call so one to clarify not a bootie call multiple reasons for that. Let's start with reason number one. It can be taken two ways. It'd be really fucking hard working guy or like boy. It's excuse but i sleep at the lapse every night. I go to sleep at three in the morning and get up at eight o'clock at the same place. I went to bed at and worked at and shower to change my clothes. And then back at it again. You really are married to your work i am. I have nine kids. That i'm taking care of and it's like so that's that's point one point two in my role dealing with a lot of people in china. India san francisco and nate my co-founder at five o'clock we look at each other. And we say hey time to start our day. Usually around like ten or eleven o'clock is when i have the ability to actually go through like looked at my personal stuff so if it was going to be booty call it would have to be at her place and would have to have her invite me Which would be pretty hard to do if we haven't even gone out and the other thing about is like kind of like one of those things where you're you're excited enough to be texting back and forth but in the relationships that worked out for me it was like two way street. Where like we're in this dating cycle where people are like looking at each other going like me like me. Tell me you like me first. And then if i like you back i'll let you know with your friend as an example. I think she's awesome. Let the record show. He's freaking awesome. Awesome gorgeous and actually very gorgeous integrate kisser. So that's that's one of the things about it. Is that you you go into these situations and you want to give them what you can but at the same time you also want to sit there and give them excuses on why. You're not texting while you're not being responsive because it just kind of feels like an excuse. Hey sorry been working really hard in this company. I'm getting off the ground. Or hey sorry i had eight conference calls with people in at six different chinese manufacturers and i'm able to get to you till eleven o'clock right on tuesday but why wouldn't you just ask her out on a real date. I think it was more on the fact that i just don't know if i would be able to get the time to do it really. Is it the time just interest. You can be honest here. I think i think it would be a mixture in that regard. It was probably time. I think we've all had this experience where we're really into somebody and after a period of time where you're not talking to them. Communication begins to slow down. You just kinda lose interest so if if you didn't have time why even try to reach out in the first place. great question. well. I still think that she's worth it. You you wanna make the time right. It's not like it's like during that moment you were like. Hey i would like to make the time to do this. This is why you say not. Because you're like. Hey i wanna make time just getting later like what you're talking about. Is the problem. Many other people talk about especially in san francisco where there's the intense right like the intent to see someone intent to make time for someone but there's other factors that are driving us To so many different avenues like you said like for you.
00:30:07 - 00:35:15
It's your work and things like that. What does that do. I guess the intent versus actually doing something with that. You know what i mean. That's that's a great question because that's okay. I'm talking speaking for my girlfriend here. It's like why was you know. I'm not gonna say her name. But why would you get her number. If you weren't gonna ask her out we'll be content. Is there right. You can't tell you can't say like to be very clear here. You can't say an entrepreneur is not an action person. They are just by definition and entrepreneur. Goes out and gets shit sort to go out and say that the anticipation is hey. I'm going to get this stuff done and in the moment. It's something that you want to do. And it's not saying that i still don't want to do it right if i had had millions of dollars in the bank and my team was taking care of doctoral and i would go on a date right now. Hands down there would be done. You have other priorities. That's what you're saying. And that's and that's the thing but also at the same time it's not like we're talking as if it's a one way street right like hey as an entrepreneur you need to go out and you need to go hire people and you need to go do all the legal document review and then go find investors and then go find manufacturers and talk to people all around the world and then after all. That's done you gotta go out and you have to pursue a girl right and in reality you have to pursue each other. And i'll tell you very candidly if this person was actually actively going out and reaching out after there may have been a lull in time not saying it was a purposeful but after that intent was shown where they're also giving back. It's this bridge. Try to build the bridge. Sorry just touch your leg. Because i got really excited about this door. As a great looking leg audience members. She touched it again three times so she texted you again because she left her jacket at the party was like could you help me. Retrieve it hand head. Can we see each other again. Did you not take that as building the bridge. No i didn't. I didn't see that as building a bridge because that doesn't that doesn't show intent. There was six people that asked me to go back and check and hats half of them guys. Half of them girls. Like if if i if. I really ready into intent apparently by so do you feel like you actually did reach out you try. And it just wasn't receives back. I would say. I would say tried though i would say if you asked me if i put the same level of effort as i do and the company in the team we have today into this person i would say no right like say early on in a relationship early on. What would be the transition point for you to do that. I think that the thing that would help ease. It is the understanding that there's a significant amount of pressure on entrepreneurs and significant is like understating it and it's really hard to like. Bring someone in early onset relationship and when they're like when you go. Hey how's your day and they're like it was good. Becky was a little catty at the office and jonathan was being a little bit of a dick but for the most part it was really good. I got my paycheck today and it was like vacation days tomorrow and all this stuff. How was your day and day us back in my exactly. I actually use this thing. Called the bauer quadrant and shoot. I'll tell everybody so. The bauer quadrant helps. You understand the things that are important not important. Urgent not urgent sevens. Yes so we have to really think about working on the things that we that are important but not urgent right. If you're costly working on the things that are urgent and important. That leads to burnout. So everyday i do about quadrant. I look at what i have to do for the day. That's like extremely urgent has to be done and they look at the list of things that have to be done. That are not urgent. And then the things that aren't important and urgent and and the fourth quadrant which is not urgent. Not important what. You shouldn't be doing anything anyway. But you need to write it down and so i go through this and if i was to sit there in that girl i was dating was like how was. How was your day. If i read and i'm and i'm really kind of taken the benefit of doubt away from this but in early onset relationship and i read all the stuff that i had to go through in a single day and averaging probably thirteen to fourteen hours a day and read that off it would be like okay. Holy cow. I don't know if i can handle this. David female entrepreneurs get it. No and i tend to not. I really like strong women. I think that's something. I'm attracted to but at the same time like because i don't have time and that person doesn't have time it's just kind of doesn't go anywhere for a long period of time so six months later we've seen each other six times you bring up this issue that we talk about law on this podcast.
00:35:15 - 00:40:06
Is that when you start dating someone right. Now there's the this me versus you mentality is. There's this year should chase me. You show interest. I may show a little bit interest back. But you should be the one pursuing or whatever and i think what you're saying here is dating an entrepreneur. You don't have time for that bullshit right but you need something very black and white more more of interest or do you not and if you have interests you should show it and not play these games and i think for a lot of people we we waste a lot of time playing these games although we all say we don't play games we do waste our time playing these games. Are you direction. I think for the most part i am direct in. Here's the here's the thing. It's not like have a ton of interaction with women working seven days a week right and when you are you. That's kind of the one chance you got to be like. Hey i like you. We should totally do this again. Right or it's like later and then like seven months later you see them. It's not like an entrepreneur is unwilling to go and pursue something right. He's pursuing as the founder of an organization. Which has employees which how 401k's and insurance and paychecks and building products. They are out there constantly pursuing a better life for their employees and for themselves right. So it's not like it's like a lack of commitment or a lack of pursuit but it goes back to the thing. I was talking about earlier. Make turnkey right. It doesn't have to be black and white but it could be like. Hey listen. There's this really great restaurant love to go there. Would you be willing to come with me. Whatever girl was like. What are you doing on friday. I would like to see you. That would make a lot more sense and would you be turned off. A girl is actively pursuing. You absolutely not that would be. That'd be amazing. Have you had that happened though. Yeah in fact most of my relationships which lasted a long period of time. It was equal. Pursuit did which girls he pursue. There's like the there's the friend introduction if you personify or your friends personify you then they should be good judges occurs you have on a date you potentially where we met a solid hour ago so absolutely I mean it's got to be someone like you you know. I meet friends. All the time or not friends acquaintances. That i've met for like an hour. And they're like. Oh my gosh you would love my friend becky and it's like okay. Yeah yeah so so. I wanted to becky's let's Wrap this up in the interest of time. Because i could talk to you forever. Josh or shout out to brooke because brooklyn to this podcast and thank you for introducing. Hey brooke hey girl. Hey so i want you to give to pieces of ice one a piece of vice people who are in your position on how to date or wh- what's something you could. That's positive that you could get. You could tell them about dating and to a piece of advice to someone who is dating someone like you. So let me think the piece of advice i would give is as an entrepreneur is really set the tone let somebody know that you're you're interested and at the same time understand. You probably need to commit some time for that just to be honest about your your situation. If you're actually honest about the situation you give them the ability to say yes or no and the second thing is if somebody was if somebody's dating somebody like me don't necessarily take silence as like an okay interaction like you need to take some time in initiative to put that entrepreneur into your daily life and maybe make a little bit more effort because you need to understand that. That person's probably going through a lot more than it's probably right for them to go and share and dump on your plate as well also just asked them right. Nassib straight up. Hey do you have the time for this. Like how can i be supportive. Because i think the right guys going to figure out how he can support you and the right girl is gonna figure how she can support him last question for you because i want to get the douchebag out of you. Have you ever used your patient or your title to get laid if you give a cord out and you're like hey here i'm ceo. She totally date me. That means i've got nothing else to offer. But i'm totally ceo damien. The type of person you can get the response to that like. I've got nothing else to offer but these looks so let's totally date and then you break up and then he's going to be on the street again with this cards and goes by the next girl so i don't that something i won't ever do and that's why i don't put into my dating profiles.
00:40:07 - 00:43:43
I'll stick with reverend or pastor. Josh reverend josh michael any last thoughts from you over there one of your favorite things. That girl has set to you I think one thing that. I'm just trying to figure out what the best way to say. It is because sometimes it gets it can be like ego centric and try to take that out of it one thing. I got recently actually from from the night. And i had met. Someone texted me and said your christmas contagious. And when you're around people there's like us energy that bounces off other people and just makes us a really fun vibe and that was one thing really attracted to and that girl actually is reached out multiple times even during periods of silence again. Not because. I'm ignoring her. But just like reaching out. Seeing things are going and i thought that was a pretty cool and very nice thing to say and proactive on her part so it becomes attractive to me as well. I do take away before we wrap up sure a takeaway and it's not just josh situation. But don't take things personally. You never know. Wayland someone else's life their silence. It may have nothing jalousie adult. Yeah i don't think it ever has anything to do with you. Sometimes it has. It goes back to what we talked about yesterday. And i know. I'm going out of order here. But if if you approach dating someone as approaching a new friend then the silence would be you. Treat the silence much differently because you if you're approaching new friend and you're just meeting them for the first time that silence just means. Oh you're checking in on them. You want to genuinely check in on them instead of our. I'm going to hold off on calling them or taxing them. Because i want them to show their interest. I who does that in our friendship right so approach dating us building a friendship. That's it thank you so much for being here. We're so sorry for your success and your charisma is contagious. It really is i. I feel charismatic. Just sitting next to you and you know what everyone is totally. Welcome to come ride with us right. Hell out of you. Your expert writer. Ride me all right. Well first of all guys at home. If you have any dating stories we want to hear from. You can keep unanimous anonymous. We can change. Your voice can change everything about you but your story last but not least one two three. Your action item for this week is to stop thinking about what you should do to put unquote when someone over and focus on what you want to do to get the desired end result so for example. If you've been waiting to ask someone out because you think you should let them show more signs wall. Stop that if the end result you want is to see that person. The nasa out beach direct focus on the end result. You want the most efficient way to meet. New people is a combination of online and offline five hundred branches has your offline covered connect over brunch with new friends. Come alone or bring a buddy. There's always a table full of friendly faces. Ma-ma says an eggs benedict sign up at five hundred branches dot com and use the code date able for free entry to connect with us visit dateable. Podcast dot com. You can also find us on facebook twitter and instagram. All under dateable podcasts.