S4E3 Dating as a Muslim Woman

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The Dateable podcast is an insider's look into modern dating that the Huffington post calls one of the top ten podcast about love and sex. On each episode, we'll talk to real daters about. From sex parties to sex droughts, date fails a diaper fetishes and first moves to first loves. I'm your host Yue Xu, former dating coach turned dating sociologists. You also hear from my co host and producer Julie Krafchick as we explored this crazy dateable world.

This episode of dateable is brought to you by five hundred brunches. Five hundred brunches connects like minded people with similar interests to meet in real life over brunch. You answer a questionnaire about your interests and how you spend your time. And then they'll match you in small groups of sixty eight at a brunch spot in san francisco. Get a free entry into a french now by signing up at five hundred brunches dot com and using the code date able everyone. Welcome to another episode of dateable of show that opens up a can of conversation about dating in san francisco. Today i have a special co host with me has was harrison. That's great to be here. Great to be back he's resident millennial hashtag millennial but Yeah we're here to stay connected with the with the next generation you we're swiping job. Hopping we're redoing. All the apple millennials. Were were here loud and proud and our guest for the hour Is a mall. So i'm going to give you a little bit of of stats on hard. You want say hi really gas. Hello hello thank you for having me here. She is thirty years. Old was born and raised in san francisco. That makes you unicorn by the way that that happened. It used to back in the day. You're like an endangered species here. So you were in new york for four years before returning to san francisco in yes so you kind of see the other side now. Oh yeah yeah. It's definitely different. From when i left so i'm still adjusting. I mean i can't believe. I got back here in may cause i'm like shit. That's almost a year now and it doesn't feel like it at all. Are you happy to be back. Yeah i mean look. It's this is home. I love it. It's my whole family is here. It's what i knew. And i love new york but it just felt like it was time to come home. I'm just still adjusting To all the changes because it is a very very different city from before. I left so monet were speaking before we start recording and speaking of the changes. And you've seen in san francisco which transitions nicely into the topic. We wanna talk about today. One of the biggest changes you saw cisco since coming back is what. There's a lot of white people here. I yeah yeah east coast transplants. I'm one of them new jersey in the house he got. I went to jersey. When i got my amtrak to come back. Stevenson up. I have to go to the shore. I mean it's very applicable passage. If is it though. I lived like i'm gonna call. I don't do jersey shore no thank you. I can't do offense. But no. I mean i grew up in san francisco. I grew up in a very diverse san francisco about earlier. My family is ethnically arab muslim. I went to middle school in the mission at a catholic school. I was not the only other there. There were plenty of there. Were kids who had two moms there. Were kids who were atheists. There were kids who were buddhist like you know and as far as race everything you can imagine or under the moon so it is definitely been a a culture shock. I mean i thought moving to new york was a culture shock for me because you know everyone says. New york is the most diverse place in the world which it is however new yorkers also very segregated thank you. None of my white friends understood that. When i would tell them that and i'm like it's different in san francisco growing up here at least didn't matter where you came from. It was more of like we recognized. Everyone's differences obviously but we celebrate everyone's differences and in new york. It was just like no one to talk about like what race you are. No one wanted to talk about your differences. It was everyone's trying so hard to be inclusive that it kind of became segregated in a way hugging clicking very very cliquey you also have the neighborhood sue. The ethnic neighbor had been gentrified. And i you know. I feel totally guilty of that. I lived in. I lived in alphabet city. Which was not a yuppie millennial neighborhood. When i moved i should say before i moved there. You know what. I mean. So i get it.

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I know i'm a victim of it. Are i should say i am guilty of it but when i moved back when i realized i co it's it's exactly like new york was in the sense that no now. No one wants to talk about anyone's differences and the city isn't as unquote colorful as it used to be. You know it's predominantly white and you know that's a little bit of a shock for me when four years you think. Change that much. I mean i don't know. I don't know if i agree. A hundred side as well. I feel like it's wave or diverse. Yeah on the only way you guys came on the only new york. All my friends are white and jewish. Pretty much your the. I'm literally the only white friend of mine crew. So i can see a little bit of both. Yeah i mean. I think obviously you guys gonna have different experiences because you different areas for me okay. San francisco's still extremely diverse. I don't want that to be the takeaway. It's really just a versus. He used to be and for somebody who grew up here coming back. You know i was gone during that really fast tech boom so for someone who grew up here coming back. That's been the biggest and most noticeable difference to me beyond expensive. And how does that translate into dating. What are some of the differences you've seen so yeah. That's been interesting because i i think i had a little bit of a test. Run in new york because it was the first time that i dated like is really dating white guys for that. Yeah i know her. I just i just jumped around for a while but no i mean it wasn't intentional. It wasn't like. I only want to date people of my race and my religion. It's just kind of. I know it just never happened and also i think i should also say i was really young prior to leaving i was. I was twenty six years old reich. I was at five as well. I was twenty six. And i had never really left my family. Say to that So i was a baby. And guess i also think when i was younger i really wanted to quote unquote. Do the right thing. And i was like okay. Well i i guess it's easier if i just am with somebody who's the same cultural and religious background as me just easier. So who you data before going. And i realized after fact that was very subconscious choice. I didn't realize i was doing that. You weren't avoiding old that all. I wasn't avoiding at all. I think i just knew that that was what was supposed to do and i did it. And it wasn't until. I moved to new york and i moved to new york. I didn't know anyone. I had not a single all. My friends that i had known who lived in new york had left by the time i got there so i know anyone and it was the first ever. How about your first white guy who let me actually. Let me think about that. Because i want to be sure. Were there a few com john. You have to use specific. I should say it's like the first like why guy that i went on multiple days with maybe rob he was. We actually wound up dating for about a year We met on tinder. Of and this is before i think tinder had that horrible. Like everyone's just trying to have sex on here wrote But yeah we met on tinder and we actually right swiped him by accident. This sounds horrible right by accident and the you know the no. I never told him that. So i was looking at his profile because he had a picture. That was actually interesting so i opened up his profile. And i'm looking through some. How i up so i think right And he messaged me. He called me the romney he clearly sent me a copy and paste message and the message was. Hey katie depressing. Something my response was. Do i fucking look like a katie couric. While 'cause i just. I don't know i was just like seriously. You can put a little more effort. I agree emoji in there now. And you know what he took it and we had this like back and forth banter and we wound up being here so swiss race ever an issue here. Here's the thing for me. It wasn't and i don't think it was in the forefront of his mind but it did get brought up on religion and and race religion.

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He was non practicing jewish jewish but he never even had a bar. Mitzvah like car was very secular but it got brought up in. I should say not. They're like the ways it would get brought hub were when we were talking about family for example. A lot of the things. That were that i said my family did or or part of cultural and religious cultural traditions as well we're seen as weird And it was kind of like you know there was always this underlying quote unquote joke like you know. It was always the jokey thing. One time we went We were at a bar with his best friend and his best friend was dealing And i introduced myself them. And we're hanging out and the girl that was with the guy is asking again how to pronounce my name and this and that and she's like oh so where are you from and my response was. Oh i'm from san francisco and she's like no doubt. But where are you actually from. Which happens to me a lot. Ed i see you nodding and liberal. I mean specifically. I was born at kaiser. Hospital redwood sit like we let me how detailed you to go. And i was like okay. That's weird and he kind of popped in and you know to alleviate the situation which wasn't weird or anything of ignorant. Yeah it was you know. He tried to make a joke about it. And you know a lot of times. He made this joke a lot about me being princess. Jasmine and like. Oh she's from agra. And i i yeah okay You tell them you were an uncle that oh yeah yeah. He would for a while he would stop brought up like. That's we're not going to do that. This chas. i muslim woman. I was his for first muslim. Woman is first non-white. Oh both the others. I know you're outside of the right. Yeah so. I think one of the things that i learned from that relationship was never be their first non white girl too complicated. I don't wanna teach somebody. And i get the differences and i'm happy to you know. I have friends of plenty of different cultures. I love learning about their cultures and vice versa. But when it when it's something where it's not. I want to say i guess when it becomes more difficult when it becomes this struggle of like i knew teach you so you can actually accept who i am vats. I don't wanna do that. And it became. It became a little tiring after a while. But did you think that you were also doing the same thing to him. Since he was your first. I might have been you know. I don't. I don't think i was because again like he was my first. It was kinda first time realizing that i was dating news. Different like for somebody who wasn't muslim dini would be different because i think a lot of times people you know here like oh you're muslim. They expect you to be certain image. Of what a muslim is. And it's i think it's like oh well you're not muslim so you don't drink you don't eat pork sex you cover your hair. You pray five times a day. You do this do that and it's like well there's billions of there's like billions of muslims in the world. We're not all the same just like every every choose. Not you know going off every week. Of course let's keep talking about some of the initial challenges. Yeah so. I think a lot of times. you know. it's little things. It's like the the micro things that people don't realize that i would tell some of my friends you know. I don't need a nickname like everyone can learn to pronounce my name. I'm not gonna have nickname you know. I don't need to explain this to people like why is this. Always a thing i need. How many introduce myself to a guy. It's this big thing about my name. So that's all that's like an ongoing frustration. Every time you meet friends you know that would always be a thing or you know little things. Like i don't drink and you know that is weird for a lot of people. It is very very weird for a lot of people And i don't. I have no problem going to bar. I am a huge sports fan. So i was regularly at the sports bar every sunday for football when i was in new york but people do get really. Do you ever drink. Or i've tried alcoholic. Just not for me lake. Yeah i mean. I grew up. I mean i grew up in a family that didn't drink Because again it is a religious thing you know.

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Muslims don't offering While my family again scales of different levels of religiousness it was never part of the in the house you know and even to this day at family weddings. There's no alcohol out of respect for the elbow l. Show speaking about family. Because i'm really curious about your parents. Your family his parents his family. It was a day. Know you existed I found out later that they. I think that he didn't think that we could be anything serious. and. I don't think that. I know that because we had that conversation when we broke up And you know. He didn't say that it was because of race or religion but that is what he insinuated ally cultural differences and get it. That's you know definitely an issue for interracial and interfaith couples all the time and it's not a small issue by any means For me it was never an issue and it was something that i've always communicated with everyone that it's not an issue for me so i guess i'm going to play devil's advocate here. Are we being a little sensitive about race. When we're talking about how is dating you different. Dating let's say a girl who's vegan named curious stasi you know like how is that different. Because isn't she also has her way she doesn't she's vegan. Her name is hard to pronounce. How is that different. It's to me. it's not different I don't different. it's always you know. I think it's been an issue for other people which has been an issue for me. Because i never thought it was before you mean i think for. I think it's something that people don't like to talk about race because it's uncomfortable and the moment you bring up a race. I think people automatically want to make sure that you know that they're not racist and not just white people everyone everyone you know. I know many people of different cultures and there's racism every single for sure. Racism and color is exists. But we don't ever talk about it so it becomes uncomfortable thing and i think that's i think especially because the fact that i am muslim I'm also arab Very very trendy. Right now of right on muslim girls we are. We're hot topic. And it makes a lot of long comfortable. And i have no problem sitting and talking to people about race and religion and cultural differences at all. I love doing that stuff. Like i think it's really interesting but people are very uncomfortable doing it and i think that's why my quote unquote cultural differences. Because of my background becomes an issue because no one was talk about it. I think part of it is because i'm thinking about sort of my own experiences and we. We had the yellow fever episode in my mind. I don't see the race. Issue is the lack of effort. Put into trying to understand where you came from or where i came from. So it's if we take remove race out of it we could just say we're all the same color it's just we were all brought up in different ways and you have to make an effort to get to know that person but if you take race if you use race on this as an excuse then people don't wanna make the effort because they're like oh because we're not the same color. I will never understand the differences in general every and how proactive can be to to find out and understand this difference. Yeah i mean. I definitely think that there's nothing wrong with people being different coming from different cultures or different religions. I think it's awesome. And this may be the san francisco hippie niba like. That's what i love ad. I think if we just address it and talk about it wouldn't be an issue because i've dated white guys and it's been great and race and religion has not been an issue at all because it's something that we openly talk about. You know i. When i moved back to san francisco i was actually dating somebody Back here somebody. I had known before he was white and not muslim and it was never an like our differences. Were an issue at all. If anything it was something that we kinda bonded on you know. I would teach him with words in arabic like he really wanted to learn those kind of things He was like a soak. Alec skater boy so he tried to teach me escape a cultural differences like the yes. I've had plenty of situations where it's not an issue but again there are times where you are like you were saying like ho. Your agency are decided like ooh. That's something different.

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And it's like. I don't like i don't wanna be back where i don't want you to be into me because of some quote unquote princess jasmine fantasy. Which a lot of guys have a princess. Jasmine fantasy jasmine hot. That is pretty odd hour. Weeks i would love to be prince john i did you ever look at your first white white boy or white guy is out like was it ever on the other foot. It was way. Because i think in my situation i went to like an all white school so i had no other options so i didn't really think about race in that way. He never he. And i we were so young. You know we were like in high school. So he and i never had issues with race or culture. Because when you're young you're naive but at the same time you're more open yet but the more over get old i i agree i over. Think everything. I'll coast for sure as we think. Because you know we're looking at media everything's influenced by everything now social media and then things that weren't issues before become issues for some reason so the older we get we collect more of these issues and we project them onto other people but i wanna know how is dating different now in a time of trump so i never ever thought i would have choose screen people to see if they were a trump supporters in san francisco. But yeah yeah. That's the thing now. So that's exciting. So how do you screen. I started going straight up. Let's get this out of way trump or no known trumper in the apps. Yeah i would like first message and then actually got to a point where i can show you guys. I updated my my my tinder anti bubble profile. And that's a screen like i'm like predates renewed like i need to know right off the bat. I've definitely had to like tell if you guys off. Oh yeah they're here. Here's what positive they're caused actually Just today i love swiped on a guy who is in san francisco to according to his profile. He is creating make america great camps youth camps in the bay area. So that's exciting. Yeah yeah that was on his tinder profile san francisco. Isn't it funny that we took by virtue of being in san francisco. You're a liberal. Who's not racist. And you're a hippie and you those kind of things you automatically labels on people living in san francisco but we forget that there are quite a few others out there you know. It's it's diverse in every sense. Have the words. Yeah exactly so. I'm definitely i to screen people To me i mean what's going on. Like i've always been politically aware and active. And i think that's because i grew up in san francisco I mean i remember walking out of high school during the iraq. War protests like. That's what we did But i never really cared. If i dated somebody who was politically active as long as they were liberal as long as they had progressive us. That's all i cared about And i think now it is more important because it's not just politics especially with me. It's very personal. It's my life. It's my family's life. I'm the granddaughter of refugees. My parents are immigrants. I am an american born was long like it very scary and i hate that. I have to be scared in in the bay area like but it is and you know that's just the reality we live with unfortunately And i think right. After the election. I i was actually. I was out of the country. I was in brazil. I was in brazil. And when i came back i was like. Oh my god. I don't know what i'm gonna do. I don't know like how to deal with this and you. At first it was difficult. Because i was coming across those trump's supporters. The is there francisco's but after the muslim ban on i actually Went to the airport for the protests and. I think that i should say. Let me backtrack. I took a break from dating after the after the elections. I'm still active. I was still active on all the apps. But i wasn't going on any dates because i did take a very big emotional toll on me. I think a lot of people and after the muslim and i went to as afo. And i saw everyone there. And how many non-moslems were there. And it was the most amazing thing at it totally reminded me of like the san francisco. I grew up in and gave me all this hope again. Because i was like you know what i think a lot of times people. Just kind of sit. I leave by because it's easy you know if you're not in a group that is targeted.

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It's easy to just kinda sit by and be like well. What the hell's going. What are you complaining about passive about it. And i get it if you're you're uneducated about the the topic But to see how many people actually cared and like came up and were pissed and were out there. Hard core that like restored my faith in like in san francisco. And you know. I'm to start dating again. I was gonna ask the turning point. The muslim pro testing is the new brunch. That's that's the millennial shirts so have you encountered because you have this sort of Screener for trump supporters. Have you encountered anybody who was a trump supporter but still wanted to meet you know but what i have encountered is a lot of really amazing dudes. Actually i mean. I haven't gone i i will say this. I haven't gone on a date recently. Actually tonight oh no this one support. We know that for sure. What i'm saying so my screener actually has been a great conversation starter. I've had really good congo's like by not always lead to a date and it might just be like the other night. I had this great conversation with this guy. It was on gumbo also has started and i. My line was all right. Let's just cut. Let's cut the small. Let's cut the small talk Who were you cheering for the super bowl now. He said he's like all i need. Tom brady tom brady's michigan but he he's the bay area void raise. Yes so i ask this guy that in his response he goes. I'm i was rooting for the patriots. But i'm from boston. I love tom brady. But i do not support him. And bill delta and robert kraft saying and you know he asked me. He's like oh you're different like what's your background. And so we kind of got into it. And he's like oh man. How has it been dealing with this being muslim. We've it was great because it started a conversation and now it's no longer weird. Do you know what. I mean like the open so we can talk about and it's an open meeting him now. We just started talking a couple days ago so not yet. Isn't it interesting that because of the muslim ban that this topic is top of mind for people and it's actually making it easier for you to talk about the issue of race. Yeah it's been. Yeah i think it's honestly this is my whole thing if we don't if we actually talk to each other and are open about things. It does not weird like the reason why there's a taboo to talk about. Racism and bigotry is because no one wants to talk about. Everyone's too scared to get labeled as a bigot. Or racist. And i get it like what. It's a horrible thing to be. It's no one wants to be labeled as that unless you are but yeah being able to to have these discussions and it's something that everyone is thinking about right now and it's constantly in the news so it's kind of hard to avoid what other challenges you face with dating. I think one of my challenges is not necessarily religious but it is a cultural challenge Right now i'm living at home. I am thirty years old and living at home with my mom used to which is very weird for a lot of people And is definitely interesting. When i bring it up to people and i should say culturally. It's extremely normal for and it's not just within the arab culture but with a lot of immigrant families. It's very normal to live at home until you're married. I'm living at home right now for financial reasons that paying off a student loan Planning on moving out in the next few months actually but still. It's it's weird. And i didn't think it was going to be weird because again. It's such a normal thing culturally. I don't know a lot of my friends who grew up in the bay area who are of arab set. If they're not married most of them are actually living at home because the is expensive now again cultural norms. I'm just curious harrison. Julie what would you do. How do you think dating will be different if the the leader of your country was targeting. Your people let's say the jews and how do you think dating would be taller. You so it would be. It would be challenging. I mean a without a doubt. I think it would always be my thought process and the girls who i ended it needs to be.

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They need to understand my back on culture and how important it is to me I think it'll be more of a subconscious thing because for for a lot of people our age. I think it's just natural like i don't judge ethnicity. I don't even think about it. You know for people our age but the generations. I think that's when it when it gets really i wanted. Naturally i wouldn't fall for anyone who would be against kind of background. I think especially religion is something that we don't talk about races obviously harder to door because it's front and said yeah but religion like very rarely. Do people really dive deeply back in the day. The legit was super important in finding a partner. But i think if like your leader is like anti-religion it's obviously more front and center than ever before right. It's also i mean different religions some. It's you're actually religious and then others for for us. I think it's more of a culture thing then like being your religious religious. Probably yourself as well. I think that's actually perfect point because you know one of the things. We don't talk about religion because it is like don't talk about religion and politics when you on dates. I all those. Yeah he's because. I think similar to use that as far as jewish. You're jewish Religion being a part of your culture and your heritage. That's how it is for me particularly. Because i am arab and muslim. And the religion and culture are very intertwined. I might not be religious. I'm not to. I mean appreciate that. I've an overbearing jewish mother. I have always looked for a bagel. I'm sorry i just have to make that happen. And i think the little things like that. I think they're like what back to the thing about. If the leader country is against your religion and background. I think like we're talking about. There's a cultural and religious however there's a picture that he's painting that everyone is the same in extreme situation so it's kind of like at least that's how i feel i've totally i'm with you so i feel like people i would think like our people even know i am and what my views are these judgy now because i'm jewish and this is what cured jews at. Yeah no i completely co-signed that i that's probably why i took a little break from dean After the election because it was just like oh this is too much like overload. I call me a snowflake. i don't give a shit but i was going through my emotions. Yeah i was like like does this country really hate like my country hates me that much as a woman as a person of color a muslim like what the fuck so i was going through all those emotions as well and i think the one thing like i said like the muslim ban like the the horrible -ness of the leader of your country band know putting like horrible label on all your your people actually brought up this really beautiful thing and i think reunited a lot of people so i'm kind of you know what i've noticed. At least maybe. Because i do put it out there. I m having much more open and honest conversations about our differences and that's awesome and in great so far so hopefully that's what that's the direction we kinda go in. I love that. I think you know i think about if this were turned around on me. Would i how. I would date the same thing. I have the same screener. And i think i would want to go. I would actually want to go on dates. People who were for the enemy. I would wanna go on. That's the only way. I want to have conversations with them and you understand where they're coming from because obviously there are as passionate about this you are. I would love to hear what they want to say. And on the flip side is i do think i really hate when people say these are topics you should say away from them. A state and talk about politics religion. Also kids marriage all that. Fuck all that i i honest in the beginning. You should get all that power the way anti like your religion. Yes yes. I don't. I don't i don't buy into this whole idea of a honeymoon period in a relationship because in the beginning of a relationship. That's when you're hashing out that's when you should be asking these deeper questions i agree. I mean that's when you need to know. That's when i can tell you. Look you're not gonna come to the family barbecue like it's not going to happen. Yeah here wants to some people. Like i get it like that is an issue for a lot of people but like you're i couldn't agree more if we're swiping based off it looks. Why can't we. Swipe swipe based off of i mean very clear obvious values and leave so simple like it's so obvious in our face.

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I swat on physical appearance. Why can't we just do it. But i couldn't agree more. We have to talk to the other side. I think the key is we need to talk. You know we have to stop ignoring these issues. If you go day with the muslim woman you cannot ignore the fact that she's a muslim woman and swipe we should do muslim. Spare actually is. There's one called under measures. Jd for habit like it's again. This is the whole thing. Where like the idea of what a muslim is is kind of all over the place because i think a lot of the times especially within the muslim community We didn't get started about this. But i know within the muslim community. There's also an image of lamma supposed to be like like if if i went into a political muslim community. They would be like. You're about tattoos. You have you crazy hair color. You're definitely not a. You're not a good wholesome girl but yeah there is like this whole idea of what that is and how is that box of minter was created with this idea like muslims find each other for marriage. Yeah so the proper muslims. That's a whole other episode. You know it's all about being this like Hyphenated ethnicities so not be accepted by the masses but also not be accepted by your own. Ethnicity is also another topic. We'll talk about safer another day question of the day which she says i am nation woman dating a white man and he is totally cool with our cultural race racial differences but his parents may not be cool. How do i approach the situation. Yup iphone counter this many times. Because i yes. We're all like yep been there the issue is i like to see one if he agrees that his parents do have an issue because i've dated guys who their parents obviously had an issue but he was He did not want to see it so he didn't want to admit to it. And so he's very defensive. And then too i think is she. Also i would say vanessa being overly. What are the symptoms of someone being on cool with your race. Maybe you're just being sensitive to that. But lasts i just say open communication. You know. i talked to your boyfriend and say i have a feeling that your parents are maybe uncomfortable with us. don't bring up race. Just say i think just us like what is it. And then if if the opportunity presents itself sit down with the parents and openly talk about it see what happens i would say lately but the only way to to move forward is talking talking talking talking to you. Have to talk about this stuff and getting silently judge to family dinners. It's not gonna help not fun. And yeah i also think he needs to step up his game and take a more proactive approach to get the talking to happen. Yeah and maybe. His parents are just not cool with her right with me. We don't like her w harmless geico mall. I mean i definitely i've been there I think that goes exactly what you were saying. I think goes back to talking. If you're waiting long to have that conversation. Look you might date a guy or a girl and it might be an issue for their parents. I personally i'm like. I don't care if it's an issue for your parents i care issue for you. Are you gonna defend me to stand up for what you want. Or are you gonna crumble the moment. Your parents are like no because that has happened to me. I've had guys crumble the moment their parents say no. And it's fine. It is what it is von. But i think if you have those conversations early on and you're reassuring each other like vessels reassuring her boyfriend that she's in this and vice versa. I don't think it really becomes an issue. The pair it then becomes a problem for the parents and the parents have to get the hell over it. Because they're in this together. Let's wrap this up. I like this i like. This is a deep episode and also this is a depression. Because i think it deals with family issues so listeners. At home we love to hear from you. Have you had any challenges with family. Dating someone who his family didn't approve you. I want to hear from you. How do you deal with that situation. And we hear from you and general break in and you know drop us a line you love to hear your stories and last but not least one two three the ball. The most efficient way to meet new people is a combination of online and offline. Five hundred branches has your offline covered connect over brunch with new friends. Come alone or bring a buddy.

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There's always a table full of friendly faces. Moses an eggs benedict sign up at five hundred branches dot com and use the code date able for free injury to connect with us visit dateable. Podcasts dot com. You can also find us on facebook twitter and instagram. All under dateable podcasts.